Vinterland

Winterland

Episode 2

*Vlogging is challenging. I will try to up the qual for you. (eg. shakkkky : )

Children of the 80s

Betwixt and Between

Growing up in the eighties, I had a colouring book that required the child to draw responses to various questions like ‘where do we go when we die?’ In the middle of this particular cloud-bordered page, I drew a director’s chair with a stick figure of myself yelling ‘action!’ (the Hollywood Hills in the background, a lit vanity table to the side). Hollywood was my Heaven – better than Heaven for all its potential excitement. Maybe this is why my first day of kindergarten was daydreamt about in the form of a musical complete with desk-dancing inspired by the choreography of Annie. Maybe this is why I would hear the soundtrack from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when being sent to the principal’s office. Some of our memories aren’t memories at all, but things we saw on TV.
‘Go watch television,’ eighties children were often told, and by all means setting us in front of the TV was a safe, economical way for our parents to watch us without having to watch too closely. But what came of this daily television watching? An intimate relationship between the child of the eighties and our televisions. TV was our secondary caregiver, providing reliable nurturing as the ‘feel good’ theme reigned in eighties programming. So with the world just a click of the remote away, we watched, and as it turns out our televisions were watching us, too.

Recent blockbuster documentaries such as The Corporation and Supersize Me have brought to light the lucrativeness of marketing to young television watchers. A scene in Supersize Me shows children attempting to identify general trivia on flash cards. The ones that pertained to McDonald’s they knew by heart. If the kids don’t ask, the parents don’t buy. My brother and I were prime examples of hit targets – some of my brother’s first words being: ‘649’, as in Lotto 649 and my Christmas list replete with Barbie and My Little Pony items. In a prepackaged world, we were prepackaged children. In fact, I still remember the face of the woman at McDonald’s who would mop the floor every Sunday while I ate my pancakes off the Styrofoam plate. So, whatever became of these heavily marketed-to children like myself? Well, we grew up, of course, and realized our lives were not movies and that happiness could not be bought… or did we?

Enter the Twixter – a term Time Magazine has coined to describe the schlew of twenty-somethings who are living a perpetual state of teenagedom, based on the Peter Panism “betwixt and between”. Lev Grossman’s article in Time Magazine, Grow Up? Not So Fast, discusses how instead of becoming financially independent from our parents, many Twixters are instead choosing to live at home with nice cars and expensive things. This fear of the adult world, Grossman proposes, may be occurring because it has become too expensive to grow up – twixters have too much to want, too much to buy. Instead of growing up, we are still trying to purchase that eighties feel good rush.

Being raised in a commercial world that was larger than life led us to think that everything exceptional comes from far away. And so feeling powerless, my fellow children of the eighties arm themselves with apathy. ‘Whatever’ the all-encompassing catch word of our generation. But this neutrality we’ve installed in ourselves to drown out the world’s urgency, is it a form of detachment, or irresponsibility? Makes you wonder – if the Twixters have still not snapped out of it – this quest for an unattainable Hollywood heaven – what will become of today’s children who are even more cleverly marketed to (child psychologists standing by to know which part of their brains to pitch to)?

Terrifying, isn’t it?

Whatever ~

Winterland

Winter Vlog Series
Episode 1

Woodland Creatures

Vegan Sugar Cookies

Shaped as our Favorite Forest Friends

Just another way to help animals.

* I used Earth Balance instead of margarine and agave syrup instead of corn syrup.

* cookie cutters from IKEA

PERFECT VEGAN SUGAR COOKIE RECIPE
This makes about 36 cookies. We made two batches.

1 cup margarine/Earth Balance	3 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup white sugar	2 teaspoons baking powder
2 whole egg replacements (Ener-G)	1/4 cup tofu cream cheese (Tofutti)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

1.	In a large bowl, cream together the margarine and sugar. Stir in the egg replacements and vanilla. Gradually add the flour, baking powder and tofu cream cheese. You may have to use your hands at this point to finish the mixing. Form the dough into a long loaf and wrap in cellophane. Refrigerate for a couple hours.
2.	Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease the cookie sheets or use a non-stick foil.
3.	On a lightly floured surface (we taped down a sheet of non-stick foil to our countertop instead), roll out the dough to 1/4 inch thickness. Cut into desired shapes with cookie cutters. Place about 1 inch apart cookie on sheets.
4.	Bake for 12 to 14 minutes in the preheated oven, until bottoms and edges just start to get light brown. Remove from baking sheet and cool on wire racks. Store in an airtight container.

PERFECT VEGAN ICING RECIPE
Each batch is enough to easily coat 24 cookies. We made four batches, one for each color.

2 cups confectioners’ sugar	1/2 teaspoon of almond extract
6-8 teaspoons of soy milk (Silk Vanilla)	Assorted food coloring
4 teaspoons of light corn syrup/agave syrup

Directions:

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1.	In medium bowl, stir together confectioners’ sugar and soy milk until smooth. Beat in corn syrup and almond extract until icing is smooth and glossy. If icing is too thick, add more corn syrup.
2.	Add food coloring to desired intensity. Dip cookies and allow to dry overnight. Delicious and nutritious, well… more bootylicious, really.

Fur Is Fucked

Fur Free Friday

Below is a partial vid of Fur Free Friday. Jon Gosselin 2.0 enjoyed spuing random facts at us about how B2 doesn’t sell real fur (see  below), claimed we were “always” at this B2 location (we’d never been there before), and then he threatened us with some bylaw ticket.

Prior correspondence with B2:

Shame on B2/Brown’s shoe company for selling dog fur from China!

B2 Shoes has 2 locations in Vancouver, 1112 Robson St (604-687-3383) and 650 W 41st Ave, (604-261-2071).  Recently they have brought in men’s and women’s winter jackets with HUGE raccoon dog trims on them.  The jackets can be viewed at this website, http://www.mackage.com/.

The jackets are actually labelled ASIATIC RACCOON, and in fact there is no such animal, if you google asiatic raccoon the first thing that comes up is RACCOON DOG, a species of canine from China.
Click here to view footage of a fur farm in China where raccoon dogs are having their skin removed when they are not even close to being dead, or even unconscious, http://www.peta.org/feat/chineseFurFarms/index.asp .

The company claims that the jackets are in fact raccoon (not that it matters to us which species it is), this is the answer we got:

“I have attached the letter that my supplier has written you explaining your concerns about the fur trims used on his garments.    Also attached are Chinese appraisal reports confirming that the furs used are in fact Raccoon and not dog.”

Click here: b2, to read B2 further try to defend themselves.

A Shocking Look Inside Chinese Fur Farms:

When undercover investigators made their way onto Chinese fur farms recently, they found that many animals are still alive and struggling desperately when workers flip them onto their backs or hang them up by their legs or tails to skin them. When workers begin to cut the skin and fur from an animal’s leg, the free limbs kick and writhe. Workers stomp on the necks and heads of animals who struggle too hard in order to make a clean cut. When the fur is finally peeled off over the animals’ heads, their naked, bloody bodies are thrown onto a pile of other animals. Some are still alive, breathing in ragged gasps and blinking slowly. Some of the animals’ hearts are still beating five to 10 minutes after they have been skinned. Before they are skinned alive, animals are pulled from their cages and thrown to the ground. Workers bludgeon them with metal rods or slam them onto hard surfaces, causing broken bones and convulsions but not always immediate death. Animals watch helplessly as workers make their way down the rows.

Undercover investigators from Swiss Animal Protection/EAST International recently toured fur farms in China’s Hebei Province, and it quickly became clear why outsiders are banned from visiting Chinese fur farms. There is no national animal welfare law in China, which means that farmers can house and slaughter animals however they see fit. These animals suffer miserable lives and excruciating deaths. The investigators found horrors beyond their worst fears and concluded, “Conditions on Chinese fur farms make a mockery of the most elementary animal welfare standards. In their lives and their unspeakable deaths, these animals have been denied even the simplest acts of kindness.”

Living Hell

On Chinese fur farms, foxes, minks, rabbits, and other animals pace and shiver in outdoor wire cages, exposed to driving rain, freezing nights, and scorching sun. Mother animals—who are driven insane from rough handling and intense confinement and have nowhere to hide while giving birth—often kill their babies after delivering litters. Diseases and injuries are widespread, and animals suffering from anxiety-induced psychosis chew on their own limbs and throw themselves repeatedly against the bars of their cages.

Is There a Skeleton in Your Closet?

The globalization of the fur trade has made it impossible to know where fur products come from. Animal skins move through international auction houses and are purchased and distributed to manufacturers around the world. Finished goods are often exported. Even if a fur garment’s label says that it was made in a European country, the animals were likely raised and slaughtered elsewhere—possibly on an unregulated Chinese fur farm.

Because fur’s origin can’t be traced, anyone who wears any fur at all shares the blame for the horrific conditions on Chinese fur farms. The only way to prevent such unimaginable cruelty is never to wear fur.

:::Verse:::

:::Verse:::

A new category on Dawn of a New Era

4 When Life Flows…

Cyber

These bolts of energy we’ve become
A new vibration to the world
The Age of Electric
They Called Them
Those people. Those years.
Didn’t realize it wasn’t the way,
just a way.
People anxious to not stay out for
too long.
Got to get back to their onlives
Not as good as a dream, but at least
Another dimension
A new wavelength
Discovered

Fame monsters in a rush to
Claim the New World
People are watching us like a movie,
We hope.

How do you like your beats mixed?
House? Techno? Trance? …Pop?
Because this is who you are.
You are your taste,
Your chosen objects
Distract me, we hope, to technology.
Numbers in this number world.
Placing us in
Order.
Columns of people, diagrams of people, flow charts of people, solar systems of people,
Ones and zeros of people.
Each with their
Function.

Where do we go when we die?
The Cyber World,
Naturally.
The easiest place to disappear.

Fuel Goes Down

3 Years of Business, 6 Months of Campaigning,

How Many More Lobes of Foie Gras?

Fuel Restaurant, the location of many recent protests against foie gras, has decided to close, the owners to open a more casual eatery in its place.

Because of the economy?

Because they no longer wanted the negative publicity of being associated with animal cruelty?

We won’t know until their new menu comes out.

Not Fuel for Anyone's Soul

Robert Belcham, owner and chef, has threatened to keep the foie gras on the menu:

“Please do not waste your time trying to talk to these fanatical zealots,”  Belcham says of the animal rights activists. “They can’t even see past their own propaganda. No one tells me what to put on my menu except my customers. And I can tell you none of these self righteous, single minded drones have ever dined at Fuel. If you all want Foie at the new restaurant, you got it.”

What a guy. He calls those who stand up for those who have no voice self-righteous, while admitting that he’ll do anything for money. He calls video footage, facts, and decisions made by 15 countries worldwide “propaganda”. Open your eyes, Belch. These “fanatical zealots” are standing up against violence and cruelty.

And for the record, foie gras is not an issue you can be fanatical about. You either support it or you don’t. You empathize with the creatures, or you profit from their suffering. There is no grey area. There is no element of “belief” involved. Foie gras IS force feeding.

Robert Belcham

Here is Fuel’s official teary Oprah goodbye:

Dear Friends and Fans,

Our 3 year anniversary is fast approaching and we have truly enjoyed the time we have had taking care of you all.  Our ultimate goal is to see you all more often, and in order to achieve that, we have decided to make a significant change to our landscape here at Fuel.

Sunday November 29th will be our last service as Fuel Restaurant. We will close for two days and re-open for business on December 2nd as a neighborhood restaurant and bar specializing in Casual Northwest Cuisine. Our philosophy towards quality ingredients and impeccable service will remain paramount. We simply want to offer these things to you at a more affordable price.

As you are among our loyal customers, we invite you to come and visit Fuel Restaurant one last time. We would truly love to see you this month. The Whole Hog Menu is still available for booking on November 25th, 26th, and 27th and Fried Chicken Fridays will also be available for lunch until the end of November. From the bottom of our hearts, Robert, Ted, Katharine and I would also like to thank you so much for supporting us over the years.  We have truly enjoyed serving you and look forward to seeing you soon.

Tom Doughty

But why, if Fuel has been so successful, wouldn’t they keep their name and just change their menu?

Name changes are usually synonymous with changes of identity, and we hope that Fuel realizes it’s time to change theirs.

Storytime

Arrivals

My brother Luke and I used to have this Nintendo game called Fester’s Quest – you know, Fester from the Addam’s Family. The show was having a resurgence of cool after a remake had just come out in ‘96. We couldn’t wait to play the game, but when we placed the cartridge into the grey Nintendo box, Fester, in his long black Friar Tuck cloak, was barely discernible in the sloppy low-tech pixels. Just steps into his quest he would get attacked by stinging yellow demons, slowing his pace to the point where he was unable to defend himself and where, inevitably – he would die. Game Over, only minutes into the game. Luke and I would hold down those Nintendo buttons so hard trying to make Fester go, we’d get imprints of the arrows on our thumb pads. Who made this game? What were they thinking? Kids don’t want to fight against slowness when they play video games. They want to run and jump, maybe fly. Ideally we’d like to fly.

Cole picks me up in his aunt’s navy Honda at eight o’clock, the front hood caved in sadly from where he ran into that yield sign two months ago, the repair not justifiable for the worth of the vehicle.

‘Where are we going?’ I ask.

We don’t usually go out. We watch movies almost every night.

‘On a date,’ Cole says, his breath a cotton swab of ice.

‘A date…’

‘Well…’ he says. ‘Josh is coming.’

Of course. The deadbeat friend. All hot guys have them. They need something – someone – to downplay their beauty so you don’t expect too much of them.

Waiting for Josh outside his duplex, or as he calls it ‘The Pea Green Motel’, Cole plays ADD-DJ. He never finishes a song. An inability to focus for more than a few minutes, or an eagerness to please his crowd? To please me? I don’t know but it’s annoying.

Josh slides into the back seat smelling of pickled smoke. ‘Sup?’ he mumbles. He lights two cigarettes and hands one to Cole and they smoke out the windows as the snow wisps in swirls along our tires.

We pull up to a rainbow lit Toys ‘R’ US, the R playfully, charmingly backwards.

I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys R Us Kid

Lots of toys at Toys ‘R’ Us that I can play with

The song went.

But Luke and I used to sing:

I don’t wanna throw up, but I already did

I ran to the toilet but I couldn’t lift the lid

The mention of vomit our safe stab at defiance.

‘What are we doing here?’ I ask, the windshield wipers squeaking as the falling snow becomes sparse.

‘I need Leonardo,’ Cole explains.

Cole has a remaining obsession with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from fifteen years ago.

‘Oh,’ I say. ‘A date.’

‘Niki, I need him,’ he says. ‘He’s my favourite one.’

I try to remember the Ninja Turtles song as I meander into the pink smear of the Girl’s section…

Rafael is cool but crude

Michelangelo is a party dude…

Cole and Josh disappear down an aisle of shiny black packaged cars and libraries of gloss-faced men with small but lethal weapons. ‘Men are like children,’ the ladies at work tell me, pictures of husbands and fiancés tacked into the walls of their cubicles like 1st Place ribbons, no matter how gawky and nerdy the men. But I don’t buy it. I believe in the existence of real men. What do those bitches know? Years of data entry reconfiguring the helixes of their DNA. Read, type, check. Read, type, check. Don’t, look, up. ‘The computers to the computers,’ Rhonda proudly calls us, her pink talons jamming away at the keys, the loose skin under her chin dangling like a turkey wattle. It’s the ladies like Rhonda who are the best at data entry, who make the least mistakes – the ones who are able to stop thinking.

‘Nine ninety nine!’ Cole bounces towards me straddling an alien-green ball with two snail antenna handles. He holds up a toy axe. ‘You wanna axe me a question?’

‘Heh,’ I fake laugh.

‘This place is the shiznit,’ he beams, the look on his face like that of a five year old who’s just grabbed his babysitter’s boob.

The shiznit? No. More a bland kind of fun – like eating low fat potato chips.

As Cole pays for his swag, I scan the Girl toys. See what’s happening with Barbie these days. She hasn’t aged a day, still walking on eggshells up on those tip toes. They should make Stomp Around Barbie: “Real weights in the soles of her feet!” “Perfect for hissy fits when Ken cheats!” Poor Barbie – no nipples, her cooch sealed shut. Girls think they’ll look like this someday. We really do.

‘Hey,’ I catch Josh on the way to the till. ‘How does the song go again?’

‘What song?’

‘The Ninja Turtles one.’

‘Huh…’ Josh tries to retrieve the information from some stashed away marijuana-blurred file. ‘Oh yeah-’ he remembers. ‘Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines…’

Of course. Leonardo leads.

Next stop on this lavish skid-chaperoned date – the airport. No, we’re not catching an impromptu flight to Vegas to pretend were high rollers for a few minutes then come back with unpayable Visa bills. The airport is where Cole works as a baggage handler.

‘Did you forget something at work?’ I ask, as we pull into pay parking.

‘Nah,’ Cole says. ‘I just thought it would be fun.’

Cole loves his job. Although the reasons he loves it have nothing to do with the actual job – the sour cream glazed donuts he buys at lunch from Tim Horton’s, the lottery pool he feeds better than his stomach. It’s almost like he doesn’t notice the working part of his job. It’s almost like he doesn’t notice anything.

‘I just thought… it would be random,’ he says. ‘You know?’

Random. I like this concept. Maybe this isn’t another miss at romance from Cole. Maybe this is ‘random’.

Inside the airport, Cole pushes Josh on a baggage cart, the shiny brick flooring chugging the cart’s wheels. The synthetic eggs from A & W smell strangely delicious, then disgusting; the smell of early morning flights. Spotting an empty baggage carousel, Cole runs up and tries to sit on its black revolving slates.

‘That won’t get you fired,’ I stand back and watch.

Getting his finger pinched between the slates, he awkwardly slides off, his blonde bangs flopping into his eyes. ‘I’ve always wanted to do that,’ he beams.

‘Well,’ I say, ‘you’re definitely baggage.’

He looks me over, deciding whether or not that was mean.

The airport maintains its usual steady mull, people waiting in line and browsing the boutiques, voices down and discreet as though whispering will make the place less public, make their flight, their mission seem special. A Disneyland-bound family reminiscent of the Aussie Shampoo clan in their matching bathrobes makes their way to Gates 5-15, two tired little girls strapped down front to back with backpacks and fanny packs, their parents worriedly shuffling around boarding passes and checking watches. It’s not rocket science. Walking past the Arrivals gate, people wait for their friends and family ready to offer warm welcomes – you’ve made it! You’ve gotten from point A to B! We miss you when you’re in point A. Point B is better, isn’t it? Doesn’t it feel better?

‘M’lady,’ Cole offers me his hand as we step onto the escalator.

‘Flight 393 is now boarding,’ a woman’s voice pages from somewhere above. ‘Last call for Flight 393.’ There is no annoyance in her voice. Everything is okay in her world.

As Cole and Josh let the whirring, snapping, and cuckooing of the wind-up toys inside Who’s Who In The Zoo lure them in, I go the window and watch the planes taxi the runway in the dark. Lights among lights. It seems impossible for things to fly. Even, especially, things that are alive. But it isn’t.

When I was seven, Luke and I designed a time machine. We had it all mapped out, drawings we would redo over and over in scented markers – where our rooms would be, what we would bring, what would go on which shelf. We figured we’d work out the science part later. That maybe if we wanted it to work badly enough, it would. We’d planned other things that had worked out before – puppet shows, lemonade stands – why not take it to the next level?

In the wooden booth of the Western-themed restaurant beside Gate 47, Cole slides in beside me. ‘You’re pretty,’ he says.

‘Pretty what?’ I ask.

He orders a pitcher of beer and two ice cream pies for the table as Josh tosses his winter coat on a pitchfork sticking out of a bail of hay. Across from our booth sits a dad and his two daughters drinking non-stop pop and colouring with crayons on a sheet of brown paper spread over the table. Somebody chose this man. Some woman said: him. I want a half-duplicate of him.

There are a lot of people in the world. All created out of this same decisiveness.

I look over Cole’s thin, white, cigarette laced fingers. He sees me looking at them and wraps them around his empty pint glass, giving me what he probably thinks is a chin chuck. When the beer comes, he pours. ‘Cheers big ears,’ he clinks Josh’s glass.

‘Same goes big nose,’ says Josh, taking a long swig and lifting a forkful of ice cream pie into his smiling mouth.

Always a three-man date, Ferris Bueller style. And when I can’t sleepover, Cole calls Josh.

‘Nother round,’ Cole orders as the waitress walks past, tripping over the sprawling carry on baggage of the kid’s booth. One of the little girls stands up on the booth seat and holds up her red crayon like an Olympic torch. Red belongs to her and her alone.

The wallpaper lining the restaurant walls could be in Cole’s house – splish-splashes of faded rose and lilac in a varicose vein embossment. Cole lives in the basement of his aunt’s house and hasn’t touched the nineties decor his aunt chose for it all those years ago – the furniture covered in coral palm-fronds Oahu motel lobby style, porcelain bunnies dipping their noses into pots of fake flowers, looked down on by framed pictures of horses with manes so windblown they could be unicorns. Along the oak shelves, Cole has lined up his action figures, his single attempt to make the place his own. How can he stand to not be surrounded by his things, things he’s chosen? He doesn’t think of it this way.

When the check comes, Josh pulls for his wallet.

‘I got it,’ Cole pushes Josh’s money back towards him.

We are both being courted by Cole.

Full and buzzed, the three of us amble back into the corridor’s yellow wash of light, a yellow like the yolk of an egg laid by a caged chicken radiating an indelible fizzle of fear.

‘Josh man – go long,’ Cole tosses him a rubber ball he’s snagged from Toys ‘R’ Us.

Around the corner we come across an airplane museum. Cole spots a replica of an old airplane. ‘Let’s go in,’ he says. So we climb the metal staircase and sit in the cockpit, Cole and Josh in front, me in the back.

‘We should bring forties up here sometime,’ Cole says to Josh.

‘That would be the bomb,’ says Josh.

‘Shh,’ says Cole. ‘Don’t say bomb.’

‘Hey,’ Josh leans in to Cole. ‘What do they do with all the drugs they confiscate here?’

‘Smoke and snort them, what do you think?’ I say, fiddling with my  seatbelt button like a Jeopardy clicker.

‘Seems like a waste to throw it away,’ Josh mumbles.

Two weekends ago after a night out we couldn’t find Josh. We drove around for hours the next morning checking all the dumpsters in the area. This is how drunk Josh gets.

‘If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?’ Cole asks.

‘Tahiti,’ says Josh. ‘Where would you?’

Cole thinks. ‘Iowa.’

‘Why?’ Josh and I both ask, Josh interested, me irritated.

‘I like the sound of it,’ says Cole. ‘I. Oh. Ah.’

Random bothers me, I realize. The way it doesn’t make sense.

‘Where would you go, Niki?’ Josh asks.

‘Nowhere.’ I smile. ‘I’d rather be right here with you guys.’

‘I bet you’d jump on any one of those planes,’ he says. 

For a second, I have the icky sensation that Josh may know me better than Cole. ‘Why do you say that?’ he asks.

‘You look bored,’ he says.

If you’re bored, you’re boring, my fifth grade English teacher used to say. That makes it worse. Not only are you an accomplice in the dullness you’re experiencing – you are the dull. We didn’t used to be, Luke and I. We used to have fun – be fun. Before The Adult World. The daycare Luke and I used to go to was beneath a bowling alley and on the days we forgot our lunches we’d get taken upstairs for bowls of tomato soup and Premium Plus crackers. As we waited for our soup we’d watch people bowl, their lit cigarettes smouldering patiently in their trays between turns. They’d pick up the bowling balls – swirling planets of oranges and purples – then loft them towards the pins in smooth thunderous rolls, a rumbling you could feel from beneath – a full internal gratification. This is what it was to be an adult, we thought.

‘I’ll tell you where I want to go,’ I lean into the front seat. ‘Everywhere. But it doesn’t work that way.’

Josh laughs. ‘You can go some places,’ he turns back to face me.

I look out the window at the white museum wall.

Cole leans his head out of the plane. ‘Iceberg! Straight ahead!’

Josh picks up the radio. ‘Ladies and Gentleman, please buckle your seatbelts. Monsieurs et Madames, s’il vous plait attacher vos ceintures.’

Funny, being in the fake plane doesn’t feel much different from being on a real plane. It’s the plane that’s flying, not you. Like how we can’t feel ourselves being hurtled through space strapped to this big old planet. We don’t feel a thing.

Is Killing Funny?

A Critique of Amy Poehler’s Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation is a spinoff of The Office (which is a spin off of the much funnier not even comparable original British version of The Office). Parks n Rec is filmed as a mockumentary of a government parks department. I sometimes watch the show because I love Amy Poehler;  she’s one of the best female comedians out there. Howevs, in tonight’s episode of Parks and Recreation, the comedic theme was wild turkey hunting. The office heads out into the bush to shoot turkeys and someone accidentally shoots the boss in the back of the head. I find it interesting that when killing, or rather “hunting”, is shown in pop culture format, all the gore is removed. Can we see the birds bleeding to death, can we see them being skinned? No. This part is not funny. At the end of the episode, the back of the boss’s head is revealed – a shaved patch revealing where eight or nine pellets were lodged into his scalp. Funny – because it looks gross, and excruciatingly painful. But we never got to see these same wounds on the birds, who assumingly die this way. Why? Guess it’s not funny.

I’m just wondering why, if those who critique veggies as basing their choices on “beliefs” (not accurate information), then why is the same respect not given to veggies as would be given to a religious group..?

Whoa, treading on some controversial ground here. Let’s dumb it down again:

Amy Poehler = Funny

Hunting = Funny, apparently

Actual Suffering and Death Inflicted As A Result of Hunting = Not Funny

Outta Sight, Outta Mind

To What Extent Does our Capacity to Commit Violence Correlate with our Level of Evolution?

So all the chimpanzee attack news that’s been circulating since Charla Nash recently revealed her disfigured face on Oprah has me thinking. Primarily with empathy for Charla, trying to understand the level of superficiality our society operates on… a face the pass card to normal everyday human life, though there is still a person inside her. But it also shocked me that chimpazees, the smartest primates, and the animal arguably the most similar to humans, could be so… animalistic.  Travis, the chimpanzee who attacked Charla, starred in commercials when he was young. He ate at the dinner table, brushed his teeth, watched TV. He was almost human, in terms of what we deem human, but (possibly due to his Lyme disease, or the Xanax he’d been given for it), he freaked the fuck out and ripped Charla’s face off (I won’t go into detail), as well as all her fingers. One thumb was able to be sewn back on.

Travis

Upon reading this article, I researched if this was normal behavior for chimps, and it occasionally is. It’s not uncommon for males to lash out at other males in the wild, and typically they go for the face and the hands. I also discovered that they engage in what could be classified as cannibalistic behavior, eating bush babies and red colobus monkeys. For some reason, I had thought that chimpanzee were herbivores, so hearing that they not only ingested other animals, but closely related species, I now saw them more as rabid beasts. (Don’t even get me started on the wack, though functional, lesbian dominated, orgy-loving Bonobo chimpanzees… who, though disturbing, are herbivores, I should add. {To do with the female domination??})

But if we can look in disgust and fear at Travis’s horrific outburt, then should we also look at ourselves as a species who commits acts just as mutilating and devastating every single day in our various systems of animal agriculture. We are killers, too. The vast majority of human beings consume the flesh of animals, which inevitably involves killing (other animal products also require killing, but many don’t make this connection because we are distanced from the process). Though most of us don’t eat primates, we kill many, many more living things on a daily basis without batting an eye. Which is more terrifying? Doing the killing one’s self, or allowing it to be done out of sight so that we are completely removed from the process of slaughter? So that we never smell the blood, or watch the being suffer. Though this is a more shrouded violence, it is none the less violence that we are responsible for.  Whether you kill your wife, or have her killed, you are still the murderer. What’s more terrifying than a human being capable of committing violence, is realizing that we have become a society so detached from the everyday killing that keeps our society afloat, that we will not even admit to being killers.

Of course, you could look at this the other way and say: well, if the chimpanzees consume flesh and are capable of violence and they are the closest thing to humans, then it must be natural for humans to engage in similar behaviour. It is up to the individual to decide if the behavior of a chimpanzee is model behavior.

Rock It Out

Top 5 Drum & Bass Tunes

of the Day

Pssst…

Did you know that WTC Building 7 was never included in the official 9-11 investigative report? It’s no secret… not anymore

To Whom it May Concern:

Please carefully consider that WTC 7 was not hit by an aircraft on 9-11, was not attacked by terrorists, and only small fires that were not spreading and were contained on only one side of the building on the 12th floor were observed, yet the entire 47 story tall concrete and steel skyscraper building “buckled” in the center, penthouse first, then came straight down very quickly in a mere 6.5 seconds at free fall, not impeded in any manner whatsoever by any of the numerous floors below, imploding from within precisely into it’s own footprints, the concrete pulverized and vaporized into toxic dust and powder, resulting in huge, billowing, pyroclastic clouds, and the massive steel core columns (18) cut and hurled horizontally, a truly perfect, classic example of a building brought down with deliberate purpose, and with a very high degree of advanced professional skills and substantial expert experience in a controlled fashion.

The Twin Towers also came straight down into their own footprints very quickly in less than 12 seconds each in a similar controlled fashion.

Most certainly a scientific investigation is called for to examine the scientific facts surrounding the probable implosion of WTC 7.

Please carefully consider that scientific facts once officially revealed to the nation can free the American people, their Congress, and their President, from the constant  fear and terror generated by and since 9-11.

*Stay tuned for an upcoming vlog series: Winterland, featuring Isla and, she doesn’t know it yet, but, CL, and many other wacky characters. The series will document winter life in the Siberian trailer park of Calgary, Alberta.

Deeply Superficial

Winter Cruelty-Free Goodies

1. Clarisonic

A (gentle!) electric toothbrush for your face, the Clarisonic Sonic Skin Cleansing System is a gentle way to exfoliate your skin daily. I’ve been try to sleuth out whether this company, Pacific Bioscience Laboratories, tests on animals, because they do also create cleansers and serums, but it’s a bit more difficult because their main product is this electronic device. Please let me know if anyone has any dirt on this dirt-eliminating company.

The Clarisonic Mia (the mini version) is $150.00 dollars and worth every penny because it’s a massage for your face which takes off up to six times the amount of make-up as manual washing. It also combats dryness and evens skin tone, leaving your skin baby smooth, baby.

2. Kat Von D Autograph Liquid Eyeliner

Haven’t been able to find any info about Kat Von D being vegetarian (although I did see her photographed at The Cheesecake Factory last week with her fug bf). But Kat Von D has come out naked against fur, like the rest of the somewhat considerate fame-whores. You can’t judge an eyeliner by its celebrity endorser though. This liquid eyeliner goes on with precision and has that color pop that many dry eyeliners don’t. I like the Rhi-Venge Electric Blue to switch it up a little when everything outside is grey.

3. Moroccan Oil Shampoo

Not tested on animals to the extent of the bunny symbol (the most trusted and universally recognized cruelty-free symbol – they even  specificy that none of their ingredients are animal tested), Morrocan Oil has been the best hair product I’ve found for keeping the hair healthy and soft.

I was a little skeptical when I noticed that the shampoo doesn’t have any sulfates – the component which creates lather (which is actually a good thing as sulfates are thought to strip the hair of its natural oils), but this shampoo does have a bit of soft lather to it if you apply,  rinse, then reapply, so it doesn’t leave the hair feeling stripped as other non-sulfate shampoos do. At $18.00  a bottle, this shampoo requires only a dime size amount, so it’s worth it. And so are you. Take that l’Oreal. (You test on animals, we steal your catch phrase.)

4. TIGI Brunette Goddess Conditioner

The most important thing about this conditioner is that it smells like cupcakes. Secondly, it makes your hair smooth, tangle-free, and shiny. TIGI tests their products on humans, not animals. A great way to have your cupackes without eating them, too.

5. Druide Almond Body Wash

This pricy bodywash ($10.00 for a small bottle), smells amazing, like almond extract, and is a great alternative to bar soap. Druide is a completely vegan brand. The consistency of this product is almost liquid, so it’s more like a concentrated serum of natural ingredients like sandalwood, oriental verbena, and bitter almond.

6. Make Up For Ever Aqua Creamliner

Though their website is extremely flashy and unhelpful – very Fashion File 1993 – the consensus on Make Up For Ever seems to be that they don’t test on animals (and haven’t for ten years), which is great because their Aqua Creamliner is a product far superior to Mac’s Fluidline. This creamy eye make up can be used as both a liner and shadow. It goes on smoothly, but also comes off smoothly, contrary to Mac’s Fluidline which is difficult to apply, even harder to take off, and which dries up almost instantly, rendering it useless.

Another piece of evidence that this brand does not test on animals is that they are affiliated with Sephora.

Here is Sephora’s response letter to their policy on animal testing:

Thank you for contacting Sephora.com

Sephora.com is a retailer for over 250 brands. Our private label brand, Sephora Collection, is cruelty free (meaning, the products have never been tested on animals) (Note from EnviroWoman: Cruelty-free is more than this, the product should also not include animal ingredients), but I cannot guarantee that every brand we sell is. Due to public outcry in the 1980’s, the vast majority of cosmetics companies stopped animal testing.

Other than the CARGO Plant Love lipstick I don’t know of any other lines that we carry that are entirely free from being packaged in plastics.

You will want to look for any of these logos: (Labels can be deceiving, so be careful. No specific laws exist regarding cruelty-free labeling of products, so companies can take liberties.)

• “No New Products tested on Animals”
• “No Animal Testing”
• “Cruelty Free”

If you would like more information regarding Animal Ingredients and Companies that don’t test or ones that do check out these websites:

• www.leapingbunny.org
• http://www.peta-online.org/mall/cc.html
• http://pw1.netcom.com/~axleplus/stuff/hotstuff/company.html

Best regards, Sarah R. Sephora.com Client Services

Phat Joke

No fat jokes intended. Only phat ones.

The Importance of Protein

Protein is essential to human health. Our bodies—hair, muscles, fingernails, and so on—are made up mostly of protein. As suggested by the differences between our muscles and our fingernails, not all proteins are alike. This is because differing combinations of any number of 20 amino acids may constitute a protein. In much the same way that the 26 letters of our alphabet serve to form millions of different words, the 20 amino acids serve to form different proteins.

Amino acids are a fundamental part of our diet. While half of the 20 can be manufactured by the human body, the other 10 cannot.1 These “essential amino acids” can easily be provided by a balanced vegan diet.

How Much Protein?

As babies, our mothers’ milk provided the protein we needed to grow healthy and strong. Once we start eating solid foods, non-animal sources can easily provide us with all the protein we need. Only 10 percent of the total calories consumed by the average human being need be in the form of protein.2

The Recommended Dietary Daily Allowance for both men and women is 0.8 grams of protein for every kilogram (2.2 pounds) of body weight.3 People with special needs (such as pregnant women) are advised to get a little more.

Vegans should not worry about getting enough protein; if you eat a reasonably varied diet and ingest sufficient calories, you will undoubtedly get enough protein. Protein deficiency, or “kwashiorkor,” is very rare in the U.S. and is usually diagnosed in people living in countries suffering from famine.4 By contrast, eating too much animal protein has been directly linked to the formation of kidney stones and has been associated with cancer of the colon and liver.5,6 By replacing animal protein with vegetable protein, you can improve your health while enjoying a wide variety of delicious foods.

Protein Sources

While just about every vegetarian food contains some protein, the soybean deserves special mention, for it contains all the essential amino acids and surpasses all other food plants in the amount of protein that it can deliver to the human system. In this regard, it is nearly equal to meat. The human body is able to digest 92 percent of the protein found in meat and 91 percent of that found in soybeans.7

The many different and delicious soy products (such as tempeh, soy “hot dogs” and “burgers,” Tofutti brand “ice cream,” soy milk, and tofu) available in health and grocery stores suggest that the soybean, in its many forms, can accommodate a wide range of tastes.

Other rich sources of non-animal protein include legumes, nuts, seeds, yeast, and freshwater algae. Although food yeasts (“nutritional yeast” and “brewer’s yeast”) do not lend themselves to forming the center of one’s diet, they are extremely nutritious additions to most menus (in soups, gravies, breads, casseroles, and dips). Most yeasts get about 50 percent of their calories from protein.8

Here are some examples of vegetarian foods with high sources of plant protein:

PROTEIN IN LEGUMES: Garbanzo beans, Kidney beans, Lentils, Lima beans, Navy beans, Soybeans, Split peas

PROTEIN IN GRAINS: Barley, Brown rice, Buckwheat, Millet, Oatmeal, Quinoa, Rye, Wheat germ, Wheat, hard red, Wild rice

VEGETABLE PROTEIN: Artichokes, Beets, Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, Cabbage, Cauliflower, Cucumbers, Eggplant, Green peas, Green pepper, Kale, Lettuce, Mushrooms, Mustard green, Onions, Potatoes, Spinach, Tomatoes, Turnip greens, Watercress, Yams, Zucchini

PROTEIN IN FRUITS: Apple, Banana, Cantaloupe, Grape, Grapefruit, Honeydew melon, Orange, Papaya, Peach, Pear, Pineapple, Strawberry, Tangerine, Watermelon.

PROTEIN IN NUTS AND SEEDS: Almonds, Cashews, Filberts, Hemp Seeds, Peanuts, Pumpkin seeds, Sesame seeds, Sunflower seeds, Walnuts (black)

One excellent ingredient to look for is hemp seed protein. Hemp seed is an nutritious dietary source of easily digestible gluten-free protein. It provides a well-balanced array of all the amino acids, including 34.6 grams of protein for each 100 grams. The fatty acid profile of the hemp seed is extremely beneficial, containing omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids in a virtually ideal ratio. Other beneficial aspects of hemp seed include a strongly favorable unsaturated-to-saturated fat ratio; a high content of antioxidants; and a wide variety of vitamins and minerals.

I Can’t Watch This

Can You?

The HSUS uncovers veal calf abuse as newborn babies are put to slaughter.

 

Carnivores and Herbivores Agree…

…Factory Farming is a Black Mark on the Human Soul

It would seem that at a very basic level, both meateaters and vegans agree that factory farming is not good for anyone. The churning out of animals as products hits a little too close to The Matrix for people, and even those who cherish their steak and burgers would prefer their dinner came from a happy farm – not a filthy, crowded Cowschwitz.

Whether it’s the development of widespread diseases such as H1N1, the chronic digestive problems caused by consuming animal products full of anti-biotics, the extreme impact that animal waste is having on our environment, or the massive amounts of fossil fuels generated by the animal industry, people of all diets are becoming critical of the current systems we have in place before even looking at the issue of animal suffering.

In Jonathan Safran Foer’s new book, “Eating Animals”, he writes from the perspective of a new father concerned about what he’s feeding his child. Initially a fiction writer, Foer decided to take on the “controversial” subject because the drive was in him to get the information not provided to us by the animal industry in circulation. The following article was written for CNN:

Eating Animals is Making Us Sick

Like most people, I’d given some thought to what meat actually is, but until I became a father and faced the prospect of having to make food choices on someone else’s behalf, there was no urgency to get to the bottom of things.

I’m a novelist and never had it in mind to write nonfiction. Frankly, I doubt I’ll ever do it again. But the subject of animal agriculture, at this moment, is something no one should ignore. As a writer, putting words on the page is how I pay attention.

If the way we raise animals for food isn’t the most important problem in the world right now, it’s arguably the No. 1 cause of global warming: The United Nations reports the livestock business generates more greenhouse gas emissions than all forms of transportation combined.

It’s the No. 1 cause of animal suffering, a decisive factor in the creation of zoonotic diseases like bird and swine flu, and the list goes on. It is the problem with the most deafening silence surrounding it.

Even the most political people, the most thoughtful and engaged, tend not to “go there.” And for good reason. Going there can be extremely uncomfortable. Food is not just what we put in our mouths to fill up; it is culture and identity. Reason plays some role in our decisions about food, but it’s rarely driving the car.

We need a better way to talk about eating animals, a way that doesn’t ignore or even just shruggingly accept things like habits, cravings, family and history but rather incorporates them into the conversation. The more they are allowed in, the more able we will be to follow our best instincts. And although there are many respectable ways to think about meat, there is not a person on Earth whose best instincts would lead him or her to factory farming.

My book, “Eating Animals,” addresses factory farming from numerous perspectives: animal welfare, the environment, the price paid by rural communities, the economic costs. In two essays, I will share some of what I’ve learned about how the way we raise animals for food affects human health.

What we eat and what we are

Why aren’t more people aware of, and angry about, the rates of avoidable food-borne illness? Perhaps it doesn’t seem obvious that something is amiss simply because anything that happens all the time — like meat, especially poultry, becoming infected by pathogens — tends to fade into the background.

Whatever the case, if you know what to look for, the pathogen problem comes into terrifying focus. For example, the next time a friend has a sudden “flu” — what folks sometimes misdescribe as “the stomach flu” — ask a few questions. Was your friend’s illness one of those “24-hour flus” that come and go quickly: retch or crap, then relief? The diagnosis isn’t quite so simple, but if the answer to this question is yes, your friend probably didn’t have the flu at all.

He or she was probably suffering from one of the 76 million cases of food-borne illness the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has estimated happen in America each year. Your friend didn’t “catch a bug” so much as eat a bug. And in all likelihood, that bug was created by factory farming.

Beyond the sheer number of illnesses linked to factory farming, we know that factory farms are contributing to the growth of antimicrobial-resistant pathogens simply because these farms consume so many antimicrobials.

We have to go to a doctor to obtain antibiotics and other antimicrobials as a public-health measure to limit the number of such drugs being taken by humans. We accept this inconvenience because of its medical importance. Microbes eventually adapt to antimicrobials, and we want to make sure it is the truly sick who benefit from the finite number of uses any antimicrobial will have before the microbes learn how to survive it.

On a typical factory farm, drugs are fed to animals with every meal. In poultry factory farms, they almost have to be. It’s a perfect storm: The animals have been bred to such extremes that sickness is inevitable, and the living conditions promote illness.

Industry saw this problem from the beginning, but rather than accept less-productive animals, it compensated for the animals’ compromised immunity with drugs. As a result, farmed animals are fed antibiotics nontherapeutically: that is, before they get sick.

In the United States, about 3 million pounds of antibiotics are given to humans each year, but a whopping 17.8 million pounds are fed to livestock — at least, that is what the industry claims.

The Union of Concerned Scientists estimated that the industry underreported its antibiotic use by at least 40 percent.

The group calculated that 24.6 million pounds of antibiotics were fed to chickens, pigs and other farmed animals, counting only nontherapeutic uses. And that was in 2001. In other words, for every dose of antibiotics taken by a sick human, eight doses are given to a “healthy” animal.

The implications for creating drug-resistant pathogens are quite straightforward. Study after study has shown that antimicrobial resistance follows quickly on the heels of the introduction of new drugs on factory farms.

For example, in 1995, when the Food and Drug Administration approved fluoroquinolones — such as Cipro — for use in chickens against the protest of the Centers for Disease Control, the percentage of bacteria resistant to this powerful new class of antibiotics rose from almost zero to 18 percent by 2002.

A broader study in the New England Journal of Medicine showed an eightfold increase in antimicrobial resistance from 1992 to 1997 and linked this increase to the use of antimicrobials in farmed chickens. As far back as the late 1960s, scientists have warned against the nontherapeutic use of antibiotics in farmed-animal feed.

Today, institutions as diverse as the American Medical Association; the Centers for Disease Control; the Institute of Medicine, a division of the National Academy of Sciences; and the World Health Organization have linked nontherapeutic antibiotic use on factory farms with increased antimicrobial resistance and called for a ban.

Still, the factory farm industry has effectively opposed such a ban in the United States. And, unsurprisingly, the limited bans in other countries are only a limited solution.

There is a glaring reason that the necessary total ban on nontherapeutic use of antibiotics hasn’t happened: The factory farm industry, allied with the pharmaceutical industry, has more power than public-health professionals.

What is the source of the industry’s immense power? We give it to them. We have chosen, unwittingly, to fund this industry on a massive scale by eating factory-farmed animal products. And we do so daily.

The same conditions that lead at least 76 million Americans to become ill from their food annually and that promote antimicrobial resistance also contribute to the risk of a pandemic.

At a remarkable 2004 conference, the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations, the World Health Organization and the World Organization for Animal Health (OIE) put their tremendous resources together to evaluate the available information on “emerging zoonotic diseases” or those spread by humans-to- animals and animals-to-humans.

At the time of the conference, H5N1 and SARS topped the list of feared emerging zoonotic diseases. Today, the H1N1 swine flu would be the pathogen enemy No. 1.

The scientists distinguished between “primary risk factors” for zoonotic diseases and mere “amplification risk factors,” which affect only the rate at which a disease spreads. Their examples of primary risk factors were “change to an agricultural production system or consumption patterns.” What particular agricultural and consumer changes did they have in mind?

First in a list of four main risk factors was “increasing demand for animal protein,” which is a way of saying that demand for meat, eggs, and dairy is a “primary factor” influencing emerging zoonotic diseases. This demand for animal products, the report continues, leads to “changes in farming practices.” Lest we have any confusion about the “changes” that are relevant, poultry factory farms are singled out.

Similar conclusions were reached by the Council for Agricultural Science and Technology, which brought together industry experts and experts from the WHO, OIE and USDA. Their 2005 report argued that a major impact of factory farming is “the rapid selection and amplification of pathogens that arise from a virulent ancestor (frequently by subtle mutation), thus there is increasing risk for disease entrance and/or dissemination.”

Breeding genetically uniform and sickness-prone birds in the overcrowded, stressful, feces-infested and artificially lit conditions of factory farms promotes the growth and mutation of pathogens. The “cost of increased efficiency,” the report concludes, is increased global risk for diseases. Our choice is simple: cheap chicken or our health.

Today, the factory farm-pandemic link couldn’t be more lucid. The primary ancestor of the recent H1N1 swine flu outbreak originated at a hog factory farm in America’s most hog-factory-rich state, North Carolina, and then quickly spread throughout the Americas.

It was in these factory farms that scientists saw, for the first time, viruses that combined genetic material from bird, pig and human viruses. Scientists at Columbia and Princeton Universities have actually been able to trace six of the eight genetic segments of the most feared virus in the world directly to U.S. factory farms.

Perhaps in the back of our minds we already understand, without all the science, that something terribly wrong is happening. We know that it cannot possibly be healthy to raise such grotesque animals in such grossly unnatural conditions. We know that if someone offers to show us a film on how our meat is produced, it will be a horror film.

We perhaps know more than we care to admit, keeping it down in the dark places of our memory — disavowed. When we eat factory-farmed meat, we live on tortured flesh. Increasingly, those sick animals are making us sick.

Coffee? Tea? Inside Job?

The Dead Know All Y’all

They said our plane crashed into the Pentagon. Flight 77 was a giant fucking  jet. Think it might have done a little more damage? Wingspan, people – wingspan!

That’s right y’all, they took us down mid-air. Not Nawaf al-Hazmi, Salem al-Hazmi, Majed Moqed, and Khalid al-Mihdhar, the American fucking government yo! I’m dead, so what are y’all going to do about it?

 

Just Say It

I don’t listen to that much dub because it’s so gradual, but this track is more like tantalizing…

Enjoy.

Devoted to all the veg curious out there. “You look so curious…”

(with a sidebar message of: step it up a notch, fellas ; )

Booty Luv, on NML radio

Fall Out

The Real Reason Behind Fall Break-Outs

For anyone who has noticed they tend to break out more in the fall, it’s not the stress of a new school term or a new job. It’s not because you’re depressed that winter is coming.

In the book, Acne RX, written by Dr. James E. Fulton Jr., I recently learned that there are fluctuations in our hormones that occur once our UV intake is reduced after summer. Our testosterone (the hormone responsible for the libido) increases at this time, providing us with the primal urge to go out and git er done, as biologically, babies have a better chance at surviving if they are born in the middle of summer. Consequentially, it is testosterone that ups our sebum production, clogging pores.  How nice that our outdated animal urges try to force us to have unwanted children.

It has been recorded that acne sufferers in Northern climates tend to have an increase in breakouts during fall, whereas Southern climates do not experience this phenomena.

So if it seems like your skin is always trying to sabotage you just when you’re trying to get your life on a new track, here some steps you can take:

1) Get a little UV as the sun is peacing out. Tan once a week for several weeks. Dermatologists would freak at this suggestion, but it just makes sense doesn’t it? You can always lightly cover your face if you don’t want facial sun damage.

2) Up your skin regimen as fall sets in. If you’re stopped using a product with active ingredients, pick it back up a few weeks before fall sets in to keep the skin running like a well oiled not oily machine.

3) Keeping the skin exfoliated is the trick. Have a glycolic or salicylic peel to get at those impurities deep under the skin’s surface.

Don’t forget to choose solutions that aren’t tested on animals. If we don’t ask for it with our dollars, it will never stop. Pretty much any pharmaceuticals are going to be tested and if you have debilitating acne, well you just have to do the best you can, but here’s a list of the bad guys to watch out for:

Repeat after me .. “I will no longer give my hard-earned dollars  to companies that cruelly that needlessly torture animals and spray their faces with banal products.” Below, you will find a fairly comprehensive list of companies that test their products on animals.

*I have only included the companies which I’m familiar with. Click link for further info.

Companies that are NOT Animal Friendly

• Alberto-Culver Co. (Alberto V05, Baker’s Joy, Consort, FDS, Just for Men, Mrs. Dash, Nexxus, Noxzema, Soft & Beautiful, Static Gaurd, St.Ives, Sugar Twin, TRESemmé) [PET]
• Arm & Hammer *SEE CHURCH & DWIGHT
• Avon Products Inc. [UNC] ["Avon will conduct animal testing only when required by law."]. *However, do, at least have a formal policy against testing via their breast cancer research fund.
• Baush & Lomb (Curel, Soft Sense, Clear Choice) *Owns Charles River Breeding Laboratories
• Beiersdorf Inc. (Nivea, Basis, Eucerin, florena, Juvena, la prairie, Labello) [UNC]
• Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream *SEE UNILEVER
• BIC Corp. *Observing Moratorium [PET]
• Blistex, Inc. (Foille, Kank-A, Glysomed)
• Block Drug Co. (Sensodyne, Carpet Fresh, Lava, Polident, Targon) [PET]
• The Body Shop Int’l *SEE L’OREAL [YES, STOP ASKING]
• Braun *SEE P & G
• Bristol-Myers Squibb Co. (4-Way, Alpha Keri, Ammens, Aussie, Ban, Bufferin, Clairol, Comtrex, Coumadin, DuPont Pharmaceutical, Elisor, Excedrin, Final Net, Fisherman’s Friend, Fostex, Glucophage, Herbal Essences, Keri, Redmond)
• Burberry *Fur promotion or marketing
• Burt’s Bees
• [Coco] Chanel Inc. (Allure, Chanel) *Fur promotion or marketing
• Church & Dwight (Aim, Answer, Arm & Hammer, Arrid, Brillo, Cameo, Carter’s Laxative, Close-Up, Enamelon, First Response, Kaboom, Lady’s Choice, Lambert Kay, Mentadent, Nair, Naturalamb, Orange Glo, Oxi Clean, Pearl Drops, Pepsodent, Rigident, Trojan) [PET]
• Clairol *SEE P & G
• Clorox (409, ArmorAll, Burt’s Bees, Fresh Step, Glad, Green Works, Javex, Lestoil, Liquid Plumber, Oxi Magic, Pine Sol, SoftScrub, S.O.S., Tilex) [PET]
• Colgate-Palmolive Co. (Afta, Colgate, Crystal Cosmetics, Hill’s Science Diet, Irish Spring, Mennen, Palmolive, Skin Bracer, SoftSoap, Speed Stick, Ultra brite) [PET]
• CoverGirl *SEE P & G
• [Coco] Chanel Inc. (Allure, Chanel) *Fur promotion or marketing
• Church & Dwight (Aim, Answer, Arm & Hammer, Arrid, Brillo, Cameo, Carter’s Laxative, Close-Up, Enamelon, First Response, Kaboom, Lady’s Choice, Lambert Kay, Mentadent, Nair, Naturalamb, Orange Glo, Oxi Clean, Pearl Drops, Pepsodent, Rigident, Trojan) [PET]
• Clairol *SEE P & G
• Clorox (409, ArmorAll, Burt’s Bees, Fresh Step, Glad, Green Works, Javex, Lestoil, Liquid Plumber, Oxi Magic, Pine Sol, SoftScrub, S.O.S., Tilex) [PET]
• Colgate-Palmolive Co. (Afta, Colgate, Crystal Cosmetics, Hill’s Science Diet, Irish Spring, Mennen, Palmolive, Skin Bracer, SoftSoap, Speed Stick, Ultra brite) [PET]

• Dial Corp. *SEE HENKEL
• Donna Karan *Fur promotion/marketing & Fragrances managed/owned by Estee Lauder
• Dolce & Gabbana *Fur promotion or marketing
• Elizabeth Arden (Alberta Ferretti, Alfred Sung, Badgley Mischka, Bob Mackie, Britney Spears, Cynthia Rowley, Elizabeth Taylor, Geoffrey Beene, Halston, Hilary Duff, Hummer, Intervene, Juicy Couture, Liz Claiborne, Lulu Guinness, Mariah Carey, PREVAGE, Wings)

• Fendi *Promotes Fur & Fragrances managed/owned by Unilever
• Gillette Co. *SEE P & G
• Glad Products Company (Brita, Glad, Hidden Valley, Kingsford, Match Light)
• Gucci Group *SEE PPR GROUP
• Helene Curtis Industries *SEE UNILEVER
• Henkel AG (Borateem, Borax, Citre Shine, Coast, Combat, Dep, Dial, Dry Idea, Purex, Renuzit, Right Gaurd, Schwarzkopf, Soft Scrub, Soft &Dri, Sta-Flo, Tone, Zout) [OWN ADMISSION]
• Jergens Soap Co *SEE KAO
• Johnson & Johnson (Aveena, Band-Aid, Clean & Clear, Listerine, Lubriderm, Neutrogena, RoC, Tylenol) [PET]
• Johnson Products Co. *SEE L’OREA
• Estee Lauder: American Beauty, Aramis, Aveda, Bobbi Brown, Bumble and Bumble, Clinique, Coach, Daisy Fuentes, Darphin, Donna Karan, Flirt, Good Skin, Grassroots, Jane, Jo Malone, Kate Spade, Kiton, La Mer, Lab Series, MAC Cosmetics (M-A-C), Michael Kors, Missoni, Ojon, Origins, Prescriptives, Prescrptives, Rodan and Fields, Rodan & Fields, Sean Joh, Stila, Tom Ford Beauty, Tommy HilfigerAmbre Solaire, Anais Anais, Belle Color, Biotherm, Body Shop Int’l, Cacharel, CCB, Cosmair, Dermablend, Diesel, Fructis, Garnier, Gemey, Giorgio Armani, Gloria Vanderbitl, Helena Rubinstein, Inné, Jade, Kerastase, Kiehl’s Since 1851, La Roche Posey, Lancôme, Lanvin, Matrix, Maybelline, Mizani, Movida, Nutralia, Nutrisse, Nutritioniste, Ombrelle, Phas, Polo, Ralph Lauren, Redken, Sanoflore, Sho Uemura, Shu Uemura, SkinCeuticals, Softsheen Carson, Synergie, Vichy, Viktor & Rolf, Yves Saint Laurent

• KAO Cosmetics Corp. (Ban, Bioré, Curé, GUHL, Jergens, John Frieda, Kanobe, Molton Brown) [NTW] *Still filing NEW animal testing patents
• Kimberly-Clark Corp. (Andrex, Cottonelle, Depend, DryNites, GoodNites, Hakle, Huggies, Intimus Gel, Kleenex, Kotex, Little Swimmers, Neve, Pingos, Poise, Pé, Scott Paper, talo, Viva, Wondersoft) [PET]
• Laboratoires Garnier *SEE L’OREAL
• LaCoupe Salon [PER OWN ADMISSION]
• Lever Brothers *SEE UNILEVER
• Lifestyles Condoms (Ansell Healthcare Products Llc)
• Limited Brands (Victoria’s Secret, Bath & Body Works, Henri Bendel, La Senza, C.O. Bigelow) *Unclear on ingredient policy, Veronica’s Secret has sold fur products [STATUS in DISPUTE]

• Mars Candy (Snickers, M&M’s, Twix, Milky Way, 3 Musketeers, Starburst, Dove, Skittles, Pedigree, Masterfoods) *Yes, the candy company is conducting all sorts of hideous experiments!
• Max Factor *SEE P & G
• Mennen Co. *SEE COLGATE-PALMOLIVE
• Nalgene (Sybron International) *Water bottle maker, imports lab animal restraints!
• Nestlé S.A. (Alcon, Alpo, Butterfinger, Cailler, Callie, Carnation, Cheerios, Chef America, Coffee Mate, Friskies, Gerber Co, Kohler, Maggi, Nerds, Nescafe, Novartis, Oreo, Perrier, Peter, Purina, Sanpellegrino, Thomy, Vittel, Wonka)
• Neutrogena Corp *SEE JOHNSON & JOHNSON
• Noxell Corp (Noxzema) *SEE P & G

• Olay Co. (Oil of Olay) *SEE P & G
• Oral-B Worldwide *SEE P & G
• Oscar de la Renta Ltd *SEE PPR GROUP
• Pantene (Procter & Gamble) [PET]
• Parfums Givenchy SA (Givenchy, Extravagance, Amarige)
• Pfizer Inc. (Bain de Soleil, Visine, Plax, BenGay, Viagra!, Warner-Lambert) [PET]
• Phoenix Brands LLC (Fab, Dynamo, RIT Dye) [NVS]
• Playtex Products Inc. (Banana Boat, Woolite, Jhirmack, Baby Magic, AvoTriplex, AVP, Wet Ones, Diaper Genie) [PET]
• PPR Group/Pinault-Printemps-Redoute (Alexander McQueen, Balenciaga, Bedat, Bottega Veneta, Boucheron, Ermenegildo Zegna, Gucci, Oscar de la Renta, Printemps, Redcat, Roger & Gallet, Sergio Rossi, Stella McCartney) *No known policy
• Prada Group (Fendi) *No known policy
• Procter & Gamble Co. (Secret, Crest, Vidal Sassoon, Tide, Cover Girl, Covergirl, Max Factor, Oil of Olay, Gillette, Oral-B, Old Spice, Hugo Boss, Wella, Noxema, SK II, Clairol, Eukanuba, LOTS MORE) [PET]
• Purex Corp. (Procter & Gamble)
• Reckitt Benckiser (Lysol, Mop & Glo, Clearasil, Cattelmen’s, Dettol, Woolite, Calgon, Vanish, Veet, Airwick, Finish, Electrasol, Resolve, Spray ‘N Wash, French’s, Woolite) [PET]
• Revlon Inc. (Almay, Jean Naté, Ultima II, Visage Beaute) [UNC]
• Richardson-Vicks (Procter & Gamble) [PET]
• Rimmel (supplied by Unilever)
• Sally Hansen *SEE COTY
• Schering-Plough (Coppertone, Ban de Soleil, Dr. Scholl’s) [PET]
• Scott Paper Co.
• S.C. Johnson & Son (Drano, Edge, Fantastik, Glade, Off, Pledge, Raid, Saran, Scrubbing Bubbles, Shout, Skintimate, Tempo, Vanish, Windex, Ziploc)
• SmithKline Beecham (AquaFresh, Contac, Tums) [PET]
• Softsoap Enterprises (Colgate-Palmolive)
• Suave [PET]

• 3M (Scotch, Post-It) [PET]
• Tom’s of Maine *This was once a GREAT company, and unfortunately, is no longer. Their profits WILL go to Colgate regardless of what they say. Tom’s of Maine has even gone so far as to start putting Fluoride into their toothpastes which once were free of it. AVOID! *SEE COLGATE-PALMOLIVE
• Trojan *SEE CHURCH & DWIGHT

• Vidal Sassoon *SEE P & G
• Vogue Magazine
• Wyeath Pharmaceuticals (American Home Products, Chapstick, Centrum, Fort Dodge Animal Health, Robitussin)
• Yves Saint Laurent *SEE L’OREAL

• Unilever: Ades, Becel, Axe/Lynx, Ben & Jerry’s, Bertolli, Birds Eye, Boursin, Bovril, Breyers, Brooke Bond, Chicken Tonight, Cif, Hellmann’s/Best Foods, Colman’s, Comfort, Continental, Cornetto, Cup-a-Soup, Degree, Domestos, Dove, Elizabeth Arden, Fabergé, Findus, Flora, Finesse, GB Glace, Golden Gaytime, Good Humor, HB, Helene Curtis, Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, Iglo, Imperial Margarine, Impulse, Kibon, Klondike, Knorr, Kwality Wall’s, Lakme, Langnese, Lawry’s and Adolph’s, Lever 2000, Lifebuoy, Lipton, Lux, Magnum, Maille, Marmite, Paddle Pop, Peperami, Persil, PG Tips, Pond’s Creams, Pot Mash, Pot Noodle, Pot Rice, Prince Matchabelli, Q-tips, Ragú, Rexona, Rinso, Salon Selectives, Sana, Scottish Blend, Selecta, Signal, Skippy, Slim Fast, Snuggle, Solero, Spry, Squirrel, Suave, Sunsilk, Sure, Surf, Timotei, Twink, Vaseline, Vermonster, Viennetta, Vim, Wall’s, Wish-Bone

This Just In

Perez Tells Portman to STFU

Funny, how often Perez Hilton tells people to STFU, considering that he has such a flaming tongue. Today, Perez is putting aside his message to Stop the Slaughter and calling out vegan and animal activist Natalie Portman for an essay for the Huffington Post she wrote about veganism.

Natalie Portman is against killing. Are you, Perez?

Here is part of Portman’s response to Jonathan Safran Foer’s Eating Animals:

“I say that Foer’s ethical charge against animal eating is brave because not only is it unpopular, it has also been characterized as unmanly, inconsiderate, and juvenile. But he reminds us that being a man, and a human, takes more thought than just “This is tasty, and that’s why I do it.” He posits that consideration, as promoted by Michael Pollan in The Omnivore’s Dilemma, which has more to do with being polite to your tablemates than sticking to your own ideals, would be absurd if applied to any other belief (e.g., I don’t believe in rape, but if it’s what it takes to please my dinner hosts, then so be it).”

Perez claims that Portman is taking it too far, but has he considered that rape is the basis of the animal agriculture industry?

These animals we eat for their flesh never normally never see a member of the opposite sex of their species for their entire lives. They are artificially inseminated and made to give birth time and time again, until they are considered spent at a young age, then sent to slaughter, many not even making it through the treacherous journey to the slaughter house.

“How about from now on, you eat your lettuce and we’ll eat our steak and neither one of us brings up rape as a means of comparison?”

Perez Sez

Well, Perez, we suggest that you medidate on your quest for equal rights, your campaign against animal cruelty, and your best friend, Teddy, and consider whether that steak is yours to eat after all. The animal agriculture industry contributes at least 30% of the world’s greenhouse gasses, so maybe it’s not just Natalie’s responsibility to go veg but one that humanity needs to open up to together.

 

Storytime

The D List

At Balmoral High School, the social ladder has three tiers: the A List, the B List, and the D List. The A List have rooms with attached bathrooms, cars they didn’t pay for, and allowances big enough to pay for clothing, snacks, and weed. If the A List doesn’t have these things, then they have some look or skill that can’t easily be achieved, like large boobs, or a snowboarding sponsorship with Burton. The A List has imaginary cameras that follow them at all times making everything they say, do, eat, and buy important and special. Sometimes the A List spray-paints the school sign “oral Sex School”, because it’s funny and they can afford to fuck up.

The B List grew up with or went to school with the A List, but whereas the A List glimmers, the B List is a little thick around the middle with acne scars and split ends. The B List tries. They’re on the school teams, they throw parties when their parents go away, and they put the appropriate amount of layers in their hair, but although the B List rolls with the A List, the B List does not shine. The B List knows that the A List makes them look bad but they stay with the A List hoping that not only will some of that A List sheen rub off on them, but that they will leave a slight imprint of themselves on the A List to prove they have identities after all.

The A List pretends not to see the B List’s flaws because the A List are truly amazing people. But more importantly, the A List can’t only spend time with each other because they would blind each other with their brightness, and what’s the point of brightness when you can’t see?

The D List attends all the same functions as the A List and the B List, but the D List does not get invited – they invite themselves. The D List has eating disorders, jeans of the wrong cut, and journals of embarrassing moments. At parties, the D List talks to as many A List and B List people as possible (even though the harder the D List tries, the lower their rank). But still, the D List mingles with determination, asking safe, non-intrusive questions like orange-skinned entertainment show hosts. The D List compliments the A List and the B List, then chuckles at their jokes from somewhere in the back of their throats, believing that no one notices when they do a room scan to see if there is anyone better they could be talking to.

The A List and the B List pity the D List because it’s so obvious how hard the D List tries to be something they will never be. And it’s true – the D List is pitiful. They cannot befriend other D Listers since there would be no gain in the relationship, and they are shunned by the A List and the B List. But what the D List doesn’t know is that the A List and the B List cherish them more than anything in the world, because without the D List, they wouldn’t exist.

Spooktacular

Wal*Mart Wishes You a “Haunting” Halloween

Contrary to the word on the street, Wal*Mart says they’ll take you down if you shoplift (granted it doesn’t lose them any significant amount of time or profits…)

So… if shoplifting is stealing, what is it called when you shut down main streets all over the continent and pay your employees minimum wage?

 

PS Shoplifting may not be a prank or a joke, but it is and will always be a thrill.

Hey, That’s Illegal

* a clue as to what I’m dressing up as for Halloween

Anarchy is for Lovers

What Is the Opposite of Victim?

Anarchist

Anytime you start down that road of Poor Me, consider what part the profoundly sick society has played in your sorrow – dead end jobs, confining systems, soulless workers, poisonous air, disconnected relationships, mindless obligation, destructive greed, etc. – and ask yourself: what would an anarchist do?