Burned Alive to Protest Skinned Alive

Daniel Schaull set himself on fire yesterday in Portland, Oregon, outside Ungar Furs in protest of their cruelty to animals.

A man who set himself on fire in downtown Portland earlier today died this evening at Legacy Emanuel Hospital and Health Center, the Portland Fire Bureau reported.

Authorities are trying to figure out why the man, identified as 26-year-old Daniel Shaull, would burn himself in such a terrifying manner. The incident occurred near a fur store that has been the subject of numerous protests.

“It gets to your mind …,” said Mike Cheema, who owns the nearby India Chaat House food cart. Cheema added that people in the area were screaming and scared.

Firefighters responded to a call about 11:10 a.m., Simmons said. They found the man unconscious with serious burns, according to Lt. Damon Simmons, a fire bureau spokesman. .

Cheema said that after setting himself ablaze, the man tried to enter Nicholas Ungar Furs  at 1137 S.W. Yamhill St. He said the man also had something in his hands, but could not see what it was.

Cheema said a police officer was at the stoplight at Southwest 12th Street and Yamhill Street when the incident occurred and immediately responded.

By the time firefighters arrived, two police officers and bystanders had already put out the flames, Simmons said.

A short time later, charred materials remained on the ground around the building, including a shoe, but most were unidentifiable. Yellow police tape surrounded the scene.

The fur store has been the site of frequent animal-rights protests in the past and Cheema said the man was yelling something about the world ending and animals dying.

“People always come every day protesting,” Cheema said. “They’ve done some extreme things.”

Cheema said protesters have thrown red paint and painted the windows of the store.

Matt Rossell, spokesman for In Defense of Animals, said his group has not protested at the store, but he knows others continue to do so.

He said he was unaware of the event, but that “it seems extremely strange.”

Jessica Moody works on the fifth floor of Northwestern Mutual at 1221 S.W. Yamhill St.  and said she hadn’t seen any protesters for a couple weeks, though they used to come every day. She was walking back from lunch when she saw the aftermath.

“They’ve never done anything crazy,” she said.

Assuming there is some level of mental illness present in this young man to drive him to such extreme measures, millions back his cause with other extreme behavior. Every Friday in Vancouver, prostesters stand in front of the Fairmont Hotel to express dissent towards Snowflake Furs, and other more daring activists have performed raids on fur farms to set free animals waiting to be anally and vaginally electrocuted, then skinned alive.

As the truth about the bloody fur industry spreads, the fur industry is attempting to fight back with a ludicrous fur campaign entitled: “Fur Is Green”.

But the more accurate: Cruelty Is Not Green explains the opposite:

The latest gimmick of the marketers of fur and fur-trimmed products, is claiming their products of cruelty to be “green”, “ecological”, or “environmental”. Marketers of fur products have always compared the biodegradation of fur to only fake fur. It is important to realize that the alternative to fur is any and every fabric and textile there is. Fur is no better than the many fabrics out there that also decompose easily. The washing, drying, tanning, dyeing, and trimming of fur require extensive chemical treatment. The trapping and removing of millions of wildlife from our environment is disruptive to our eco-system. And there is certainly nothing natural or green about cruelly ripping the skins off the animals’ backs. Wikipedia Encyclopedia defines an “eco-system” quite appropriately as:  “The interconnectedness of organisms with each other and their environment”. Further, it wisely points out that “living creatures are a key component of any eco-system”. The fur trade traps a million of Canada’s wildlife every year from our eco-system for neeless fur products, dictated by ever-changing design trends. These animals are not chosen because they are surplus, weak, or diseased. They are killed because they happen to be the 10 or 12 species that have nice, thick fur out of an estimated 140,000 species of animals in Canada. It is becoming widely understood just how vital a role fur-bearing an other animals can play in our eco-system, and how we cannot reasonably expect to be able to continue to deliberately interfere with the intricacies of their population in such significant ways as commercial fur trapping without expecting far-reaching and potentially serious consequences.

Wishcraft

How to Get What You Really Want

“If a seed is given good soil and plenty of water and sun, it doesn’t have to try to unfold. It doesn’t need self-confidence or self-discipline or perseverance. It just unfolds. As a matter of fact, if can’t help unfolding. If a seed has to grow with a rock on top of it, or in deep shade, or without enough water, it won’t unfold into a healthy full-sized plant. It will try – hard – because the drive to become what you are meant to be is incredibly powerful. But at best it will become a sort of ghost of what it could be: pale, undersized, drooping.

In a way, that’s what most of us are.”

-Wishcraft

*Also want to add that it is not just your immediate family that affects this stunted growth. Or even your school atmosphere. It is a large scale smothering based on capitalism – that unless our special traits are lucrative, they are not worth investing time into. Competition, in its very essence,  negates our own individuality to an idealism of always placing one at the top as “the best”. This is not the case, but something necessary to acknowledge if we wish to realize our full magical potential.

This book, written in 1979, is surprisingly pertinent, despite a few comical cultural advancements. The book suggests taking notice of one’s personal style for the first time… well in the 2000s, we are obsessed with personal style as a self-determinant (whether that be a superficial means of having control over our prison cells, or a new aesthetic appreciation). The book also mentions women being the pillar of men’s success, trained to be unselfish. I feel this pattern still exists in our society, but at the same time the problem is now just as imbalanced on the other side: men no longer knowing their place in women’s lives as – like never before - women have lives. The book also delightfully mentions going to one’s typewriter, but other than this, it offers a lot of helpful “real daydreaming” exercises, which is a branch of the Law of Attraction – visualization as the path to actualization.

Follow Your Bliss

“When you find yourself engulfed in circumstances that cause you to offer a vibration that is far from that of bliss, then reaching for bliss is an impossible thing, for the Law of Attraction does not allow you to make the vibrational jump anymore than you could have tuned your radio receiver to 101 FM and heard a song that was being playing on 630 AM.”

- Ask and It Is Given

This newer 2004 book discusses what to do with our pale, drooping selves in order to attain that higher vibration, which can only be received by us if we first tune ourselves to the proper reception. And so when we are at a low vibration, what we are seeking is not bliss itself, but slight relief from the pressure of the negativity we are experiencing. The book presents this scale of emotions as an indicator of which emotion you can progress to in order to climb the scale, which explains why it actually feels good to get angry at certain points.  Which explains why I enjoyed those fantasies of kicking my ex in the face… just kidding : ) ?

Scale of Emotions

1. Joy/Knowledge/Empowerment/Freedom/Love/Appreciation
2. Passion
3. Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4. Positive Expectation
5. Optimism
6. Hopefulness
7. Contentment
8. Boredom
9. Pessimism
10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11. Overwhelment
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame
16. Discouragement
17. Anger
18. Revenge
19. Hatred/rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity/Guilt
22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

*I have a few points of contention with this scale. For example, where does “dead inside” fall? Somewhere between contentment and depression, and yet it has nothing to do with the emotions in between. At other times, you can make the jump from despair to optimism at a heartbeat, depending on the circumstances. And in more depth, emotions can be felt simultaneously, eg. falling in love and feeling your heart breaking in anticipation all at once.

I suggest writing your own scale of emotions and using it as reference.

The key to this exercise would be trying out new thoughts and then doing an internal inventory of how these thoughts affect you.

For example: “I feel stuck in my life.”

A thought which may bring you up a vibrational level on the scale of emotions might be:

a) this is the chance to reassess which direction to step forward in, or

b) I am taking note of a stagnancy in my life and propelling myself in the direction of ______. Or,

c) what is the main event/situation/reality that is generating this “stuck” feeling and how can I overcome it?

STFU Vancouver

2010 Olympics Tries to Silence Dissenters

In case you didn’t know, in June 2009, Vancouver passed the “Vancouver 2010 Olympic & Paralympic Winter Games Bylaw” to restrict the distribution and exhibition of unapproved advertising material and signs in any Olympic area during the Games (!)

It includes an exception for celebratory signs, which are defined as those that celebrate the 2010 Winter Games and create or enhance a festive environment and atmosphere.

Um, is anyone buying this Nazi bs?

Your city does not have the right to tell you to celebrate or go home.

Olympic Rings are the new Swastika

A deja vu of the orignial Nazi Olypmics:

“For two weeks in August 1936, Adolf Hitler’s Nazi dictatorship camouflaged its racist, militaristic character while hosting the Summer Olympics. Soft-pedaling its antisemitic agenda and plans for territorial expansion, the regime exploited the Games to bedazzle many foreign spectators and journalists with an image of a peaceful, tolerant Germany.”

"They" are watching you.

The 2010 bylaw includes a passage entitled “prohibitions regarding city land,” which includes a clause that will almost surely trigger a Charter of Rights and Freedoms challenge. Clause 4B makes it illegal during the Winter Games without authorization to:

“(a) bring onto city land any
(i) weapon,
(ii) object, including any rock, stick, or glass or metal bottle useable as a weapon, except for crutches or a cane that a person who is elderly or disabled uses as a mobility aid,
(iii) large object, including any bag, or luggage that exceeds 23 x 40 x 55 centimetres;
(iv) voice amplification equipment including any megaphone,
(v) motorized vehicle, except for a motorized wheel chair or scooter that a person who is elderly or disabled uses as a mobility aid,
(vi) anything that makes noise that interferes with the enjoyment of entertainment on city land by other persons*,
(vii) distribute any advertising material or install or carry any sign unless licensed to do so by the city.”

*Canada has evidently become a country that places entertainment as its first and foremost priority, above freedom of speech. Sit and watch and Shut The Fuck Up.

Protest signs usually are made using sticks, often are larger than subsection (iii) allows (as are puppets and other protest devices), demonstrations almost always employ megaphones or other voice amplification devices, and can well “interfere with the enjoyment” of the Olympic spectacle by who chose to be so offended. Protesters often pass out leaflets as well.

Rule 51 of the IOC Olympic Charter prohibits any “demonstration or political, religious or racial propaganda in any Olympic sites, venues or other areas.” Not exactly the stuff of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, but then again, nobody elected the IOC to protect democracy.

I hope that no one takes these bylaws seriously. They are a human rights violation and clearly made to push the corporate agenda. As long is McDonald’s is pushing its propaganda on nearly every billboard in the city, activists must enforce their presence against the oppression.

• If you have something to say against the Olympics, say it loud and clear, and say it during the Olympics.

• If you have a campaign in mind that targets the international Olympic audience, then by all means show up and state your message.

• These bylaws are meant to intimidate, but they are just words.

• Your city (and country) will only become a police state if you let it.

Solidarity Against Police Repression Rally, 200 in attendance: January 22, 2010

Storytime… with a Twist

*featured on Storytime today is a piece of flash fiction (under 1000 words) that I submitted to Flash Fiction Online entitled, Chalk. The piece is followed by the editor’s questionable feedback . Hey, it’s a rough game.Thought it would be more fun to post a reply where thousands can read.

Chalk

When K-Sauce hawks a loog in my water bottle in biology, Jaylene and I stop feeling bad about poisoning him with our toxic nail polish remover. A dark shimmery red is my fall colour, even though it gets on my cuticles and makes my fingers look like they got stuck in an electric pencil sharpener – beauty a near impossible craft to master. Jaylene dips her brush into the clear jar as Mr.Wong drones on. She sticks with clear because she worries about what people think. Mr. Wong scribbles madly with yellow  chalk, reaching his entire body across the board as though he’s fallen thirty stories and landed face down on the pavement, chalk smeared across his tweed jacket as he pulls away to face the class. “Fight or flight,” he shouts. “Like a trapped animal. That’s the perpetual dilemma of the endocrine system!”

He draws these mind-maps all over the board every day, and when he runs out of board space, he draws on himself – white lines right down his belly circling his own organs. He really is trying to tell us something. But I just don’t feel that any subject can be linked together by bubbles. Drawing lines between topics doesn’t necessarily demonstrate a connection. Plus, is there ever a centre to any subject? One prime target to link the random to? What would the centre bubble of my life be? I consider asking Jaylene.

Snooze fest, I write to her on a ripped corner of lined paper, adding a P.S. that  Holly Warren has worn the same outfit three days in a row.

“I know,” Jaylene says, not bothering to whisper. “It’s like she says: ‘yep, this looks good on me’, and then can’t get enough of herself!”

Jaylene and I take the time to ensure variety in our wardrobes by drawing outfits on Mr. Wong’s handouts (which sometimes conveniently have images of the human body), tiny arrows indicating fabric, colour, and name brand.

”Stuff goes in, stuff goes out!” Mr. Wong pecks the board with his chalk until it snaps in half. These final sum-ups, these over-simplifications – they don’t mean enough to me. Why do I care to know the inner workings of the human body when there is so much to think about on the outside? I pencil in these irritating blanket statements on our lab tests, regurgitating Mr. Wong’s gibberish right back at him, skeptical as to whether there is a cohesive order to his mind-maps at all, to his mind.

During an excruciating schpiel about the ovaries, Jaylene and I play a game of matchmaker – combining our names with the names of semi-decent guys in our grade, then pulling out matching letters and calculating the probability of whom we’ll end up with.

“K-Sauce!” Jaylene blurts out when she sees her match. “Sick!”

“Shh…” says K-Sauce. “Shut up, ditzes.”

“…hair in embarrassing places!” Mr. Wong projects from the front of the room,   taking a torch to the enchanted forest of adolescence. Dark shadows of perspiration seep through his suit jacket, an emphatic strain on his Shar Pei brow.

‘That’s what you have,” K-Sauce whispers over to us from his lab stool, his flabby biceps inches from knocking over the bottle of nail polish remover.

I give him a stolen-from-teen-movie glance for which he proceeds to give me the finger, then makes a swipe for my water bottle again, knocking over the bottle of acetone. It spills onto the floor and all over my backpack (which already suffered a serious Tommy Girl spill last week) a sharp, noxious aroma dispersing.

“Thanks, asshole.” I tell K-Sauce, the entire class twisted around in their chairs to watch the endocrine system at work.

Mr. Wong begs with his eyes for the outburst to subside, for him to not have to make an attempt at discipline. Another teacher would have already sent me to “le grand bureau”. Not like it hasn’t happened before.

“Sorry,” I mumble to Mr. Wong, sad hormones about to secrete from his eyes under the sick green tint of the neon lights.

After the bio midterm (Jaylene and I both curiously receiving identical grades of  52%), Mr. Wong doesn’t show up to class. His son has committed suicide, the principal comes in to tells us. We’re given a free period to study.

The kid hung himself with a belt, people whisper. It was a cry for help gone wrong.

I picture Mr. Wong at home with his box of chalk, tracing the pain through his arteries and into his heart, then onto the wall when it gets to be too much.

I look down at my red nails and realize just how ugly they are.

*****

Flash Fiction Online’s Feedback

Dear Isla,

Thanks for your patience.

I wish I had better news for you, but I’d like to congratulate you on your
story, “Chalk” passing the first round of our selection process.  That’s no
small feat.  Only 15-20% of stories make it this far.

Unfortunately, the second round proved too great an obstacle.

As a writer I always appreciate feedback.  Our readers had this to say
about your story:

*The characters are bored, so the reader is bored. The drama is in the
suicide, Wong’s reaction to it, and the chalk lines tracing his pain –
that’s a good concept: I’d encourage this writer to concentrate on
that, and use the classroom scene to engage us with the main character, her nails and Mr
Wong rather than make us sit through their boredom. I would also suggest
making the main character more interesting than just another dumb teenage girl stereotype.
*Biggest problem is that the narrative voice does not come anywhere close
to matching up with the protagonist. They are miles away from each other.
Also, what’s the “message,” if any? What should I walk away from this story
with? I left it with nothing other than how inane and shallow the protag
was.
*The characters didn’t interest me much, so the lack of a plot was too
apparent.

We wish you the best of luck finding a home for your story elsewhere and
hope you will consider submitting with us again.

Sincerely,

Suzanne Vincent
Associate Editor
Flash Fiction Online

The Author’s Reply

Firstly, I would like to defend, Chalk, by providing a brief synopsis of what it is meant to convey.

Chalk is about a confused girl seeking the meaning of beauty. She attempts to block out the biology curriculum because it’s an overload of information in her already confusing life, boldly doing her nails in class to build herself an attractive rebellious persona. However, her curiosity does snag on Mr. Wong’s neurotically enthusiastic character. When tragedy befalls Mr.Wong, her connection to him answers her question about what beauty is, or rather, provides her with a shameful reminder on her fingers of what beauty isn’t (Mr. Wong brought to tears the day she walked all over him, how will he handle the death of his son?)

While I appreciate receiving constructive criticism, I don’t feel that most of Flash Fiction Online’s comments were constructive. When you choose to label a character with words like “dumb”, “inane”, and “shallow”, these are not suggestions for improvement – these are put downs.

*The characters were bored, so the reader is bored.

If the characters had been zealous biology students, this would have been a different story.

*The narrative voice does not match up with the protagonist….

Um… the narrative voice WAS the protagonist! Duh?

*What’s the message? If any.

In their writer’s guidelines, Flash Fiction Online advises against “message” stories.

But more importantly, spelling shit out is bad fiction.

*The drama is in the suicide, Wong’s reaction to it

The drama is not in the suicide, or Mr. Wong’ s reaction to it, but in the main character’s reaction to it, which is the last line.

*I would suggest making the main character more interesting than another dumb teenage girl stereotype.

Do dumb teenage girls contemplate the objective nature of conceptual connection?

Okay, I’ve said my piece.

Thanks for reading everyone!

Oh No They Di’nt

Flash*Veg*News

*Dawn of a New SCAM!

Dawn liquid dishwashing detergent is trying to promote themselves as animal saviors with their campaign featuring oil-covered animals being washed by Dawn soap. How stupid does Dawn think we are? Firstly, if you were going to wash a delicate animal, wouldn’t you use some… oh… animal shampoo – something that wouldn’t singe their eyeballs? Dawn is just another toxic, TESTED on ANIMALS product. Dawn is grease cutting, bla bla bla. Want to know what’s in Dawn? They won’t tell you. Go to their website. They will direct you to a page that tells you what might be in a dish soap (?) Madness. Even on their label, they leave out certain ingredients as “confidential”. But the epitome of Dawn’s hypocrisy is that they are owned by our most hated Procter & Gamble – some of the world’s worst animal testers. Dawn is killing animals behind the scenes to build an ad campaign based around the false persona of being animal lovers.

*Dumbest “Celeb” in Hollywood Gets Dumber

Audrina Patridge is one of those right-place-at-the-right-time celebrities. She lived in Lauren Conrad’s apartment complex during the beginning of The Hills and was just tanned and booby enough to fit in. Audrina, otherwise known as Ceiling Eyes for her vapid stare, tries to dress rock n’ roll, and apparently she thinks this look is encapsulated by a rodeo T.

Ceiling spends SO much time trying to be the nice one on The Hills, then goes and wears a shirt depicting animals who bred to be bullied..? This fashion statement shows a level of ignorance beyond Ceiling’s devoted years as JBob’s Uchitel.

*Smokin’ Hot Royal Chooses Non-Ethical Sizzle

It hurts my heart to have to criticize my beloved Prince William. When Princess Diana died, I devoted a page to him in my “Nothing” book (scrap book), using a prince and princess sticker to illustrate our eventual happiness together, long blond braided hair flowing past my kneecaps. William is so dreamy and educated and gallant… so why is he frying up little… wtf are those poor things a’sizzlin on the grill? Obviously William grew up with a traditional English diet, but given his copious charity work and knightly manner you would think he would at some point question who he was eating. How the animals may have been raised. How they suffered. How they were slaughtered. Maybe one day, he will extend his peacekeeping past the human race.

*Crazy Bag Lady Kidnaps Angelina Jolie’s Kids

Um, hi, Angelina’s stylist? Didn’t you get the memo? NO ONE wears paper bags anymore.

When you have a Titanic of staff members at your beck and call, you would think that one of them might remember your cloth grocery bags. You have a world of children to impress upon, Miss Pretty.

Unrelated… *Why do they dress Shiloh so butch all the time? Girl’s going to need transformative gender surgery by 10.

My Milkshake Keeps all the Cows Out the Yard

It’s Better than Yours!*

A commentary on “Milkshake” rapper, Kelis’, recent temper tantrum

Here is the letter than PETA recently sent Kelis for wearing fur:

Dear Kelis,

I hope that this finds you well. I’m writing today because we’ve been inundated with phone calls and e-mails from folks alerting us to photos of you wearing a fur hat and coat while out in London over the weekend.

Please know that animals killed for their fur endure immense suffering. Foxes, minks, coyotes, and rabbits—and even dogs and cats—are bludgeoned, strangled, genitally electrocuted, and even skinned alive for their pelts. We hope that you’ll take a moment to watch an undercover exposé of fur farms, hosted by Eva Mendes, at http://www.peta.org/FeatureEvaMendes.asp.

If you enjoy the look of fur, renowned designers, including Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfiger, Stella McCartney, and Vivienne Westwood, couple fashion with compassion and use only faux fur in their lines. We hope you found this information helpful and will join countless celebrities, like Charlize Theron, Khloe Kardashian, Nia Long, Kid Sister, Pink, and Michelle Obama, in publicly swearing off fur.

Warm regards,
PETA

And HERE is her reply:

On wearing fur:

“…it’s not just the look of fur. It’s warm as hell and feels glorious, ever rubbed faux fur on your body? Nothing luxurious about that. Then the letter proceeded to name artist and designers who don’t wear real fur. Great! More for me! I don’t judge them, don’t judge me.

“If I started wearing endangered animals like polar bear or orangutan then talk to me. (Which btw for the record I would not – I do believe in the preservation of endangered species) But the minks and chinchilla that quite honestly are rodents and if weren’t in the form of a coat I would demand they be put to death anyway are not an issue to me.”

dawnofanewera’s reply:

Kelis would demand rodents be “put to death”. Who in Diddy’s name does one-hit wonder, Kelis, think she is??  Wearing endangered animals is heinous, but wearing animals who are bred for their skin is just as horrific when you know the conditions they live and die in: confined and isolated in cages they can barely move in, only to be skinned alive.

And in terms of faux fur not being luxurious, perhaps Kelis hasn’t seen what is being produced these days. Designers no longer want to be associated with the bloody fur industry and have put their efforts into creating soft, realistic faux fur. Always be skeptical in terms of what you’re actually buying (!) but  I’d advise Kelis to shake those milk jugs to the store and open her eyes.

On eating meat:

“There is no humane way to kill anything, let me start there. It’s unfortunate but it’s part of life. With that being said, I would eat pterodactyl if you found some and you told me it was meaty and delicious…I eat meat, and in fact my mouth salivates as I type the word meat!“

dawnofanewera’s reply:

Kelis is playing the typical resentful meateater here, threatened by those who have chosen a new diet, and feeling the need to defend her choice to stick to the old ways. Killing is part of life, she communicates inaccurately – killing is part of her life.  And we barely need to remark that some ways of killing are more humane than others. When lying on your deathbed, would you prefer an OD of morphine, or say… being skinned alive?

On how PETA should find a more “worthwhile cause”:

“If u want to preach do it about something worthwhile don’t waste my time trying to save the dang chipmunk. Find a worthwhile cause like the women being maimed in these Middle Eastern countries. Or female circumcision. Or women’s rights here in America, we still get paid less for doing the same jobs as men.

“Quite honestly if you hate the world so much go live in the forest where no one else has to hear you complain about the perfectly good food chain the good Lord created. Everyone has the right to an opinion, and that’s mine on that! xoxo”

dawnofanewera’s reply:

When someone knows you have a point and knows they can’t debate on your intellectual level, what do they do? They change the subject.

Why yes, Kelis, there are other atrocities currently taking place. Where is your sign? We’d love to get behind you.

Kelis then accuses Peta of hating the world (though she’s the one not only wearing animal cruelty but publicly speaking out to support it) and goes on to describe our current food systems as being  created by “Lord”. Human beings have fucked up the food chain to the point where there is no chain anymore. Humans eat anything and everything, and most humans have nothing at all to do with the killing part. The food chain represents an “eat what you can kill” mentality, and very few of us kill our own food. Even fewer of us can bring ourselves to take a look into the slaughter of the animals we eat because it’s disgusting and traumatizing. As real musical artist, Paul McCartney says: “if factory farms had glass walls, we’d all be vegetarian.”

*And here are the milkshakes you’ve all been waiting for:

1) Cookies & Cream

1 cup crumbled sandwich cookies (vanilla or chocolate)

1 cup Chai soy milk

1 cup vanilla soy ice cream

2) Green Tea

1 cup vanilla soy ice cream

1 scoop Vega protein powder

1 teaspoon matcha green tea

1 cup Natura vanilla soy milk

3) Peanut Butter Chocolate

1 tablespoon of smooth peanut butter

1 cup of peanut butter chocolate soy ice cream

1 cup Natura chocolate soy milk

1 tablespoon chocolate syrup

In your face, Kelis!

Vegan mint ice cream with hot fudge

Ewoks on Ecstasy

SEO Secrets Revealed

Of all the interesting things I try to entertain you all with, everyday the search word stats are the same: Ewoks and Ecstasy taking the number 1 and 2 spots!

Now, I’m fond of both these topics, and will even find a way to combine them for you (because I do aim to please), but first let’s talk about SEO (Search Engine Optimization). It’s so convoluted it hurts my brain, but here are some key points.

• ranking is determined by crawlers, which comb web content and look at a number of factors to determine top sites.
  
• Google represents 75% of all searches
• don’t fuck with Google, or they could remove your site from their listings. And you will lose if you try to sue them.
• buying a bunch of sites that link to each other is one way to up your SEO (like downtownvancouver.com), but is considered a grey hat technique, or – not classy, but they can’t bust you for it.
• a black hat technique is when you do things like hide keywords in the backdrop of your site to maximize traffic. BMW Germany did it and was temporarily shunned by Google.

*****

So why are people so obsessed with Ewoks?

I completely understand. They’re cute, yet creepy.

As for e without the wok…

I find it a great emotional cleansing with the highest epiphany value of any other drug. However, it’s not a recreational drug. I believe it should be used sparingly. And I actually would no longer do “e”, but pure MDMA (in gel caps) because it’s much smoother and cleaner, whereas pressed pills can contain everything from horse tranquilizers to heroine.

Don't let the cute imprints sway you.

Everyone who doesn’t do e, or who has done it and enjoyed it “too” much seems to be terrified of the drug. You occasionally hear about someone dying on e, but there are so many etards out there who do like 7 or 8 pills a night, or more. The government does studies that tell you that e  uses up all your happy, then another study in Europe comes out and completely contradicts it.

Before ecstasy was “criminalized”, it was used for therapeutic purposes – to help couples in therapy and to treat depression and anxiety. As scientists and psychotherapists began seeing the drug’s effects and passing it around to their friends (one such pharmacologist, Alexander Shulgin, referring to it as a  “low calorie martini”) the bureaucrats got nervous and made is super duper illegal. Why? Because it competes with alcohol? The way that electric cars compete with gas fuelled cars? The way that stevia competes with aspartame?

It’s evident that the world is petrified of love, but second comes change – hence “The Prohibition of Ecstasy.” Quite all-encompassing.

[1,3]dioxol-5-yl)-N-methylpropan-2-amine”] * (RS)-1-(benzo[d

So pretty.

I suggest e to anyone who needs a clearing of the heart chakra.

I also suggest that Ewoks are perpetually on e, and this is why they only have pupils and irises, no scleras.

Quantum DnB

Top 5 Drum and Bass Tunes of the Day

*Ben Sage is a genius. Sometimes you have a to wait a moment for him to drop it, but oh – he will.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

BTW, Sigma is coming to Vancouver on the 29th

A Body Without a Soul

How the Rich Play Anarchy

The pursuit of freedom requires the occasional pause beside the riverbed of financial freedom. Who wants to spend their life working for someone else? Having someone else decide how much money you make, and for how long you’re useful?

Robert T. Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad describes a corporation:

“…a corporation is not really a thing. A corporation is merely a file folder with some legal documents in it, sitting in some attorney’s office registered with a state government agency. It’s not a big building with the name of the corporation on it. It’s not a factory or a group of people. A corporation is merely a legal document that creates a legal body without a soul.”

Chilling.

And yet you want one, don’t you?

Corporations are how the rich evade Robin Hood. They won’t let you steal from them because they’ve invented a system where they can hide behind a concept in which they can spend as much money as possible, and only pay tax on what remains, whereas a worker pays taxes first (from Jan. to May typically, just to pay off the government), and are then allowed to keep the rest.

Rich Dad, Poor Dad is an attempt at financial advice from Robert T. Kiyosaki, and while his narrative at the beginning about getting financial lessons by a friend’s father is compelling and easy to read, the rest of the book is poorly written, repetitive, and will only frustrate those of you who can’t immediately jump into playing the money game. It does teach entrepreneurial thinking, which is a foreign concept to most. It teaches the difference between assets (stocks, bonds, real estate…) and liabilities (your home, surprisingly).

Kiyosaki’s newer book, The Conspiracy of the Rich (and here I am making him even richer by linking), to the best of my knowledge goes further into detail about how the education system is failing us by training students to be employees instead of indepedently employed. Kiyosaki is a supporter of educational reform.

But since Kiyosaki is rich himeslf, and feels entitled to his riches as he didn’t come from money and started from the bottom up (with a multi-millionaire as his mentor) he also has a way of rationalizing his status by saying:  and you can play, too!

Yes, we can all play the game. But it is exhausting, isn’t it? Why must money be the focus of all our intentions when there are so many other fascinating things to play with? It would be a much more fun game if it wasn’t a matter of life and death.

No Drama

Anyone out there online dating???

What is love if not the sweet fragrance of a genetically modified rose?

Top 10 Online Dating Don’ts:

1) No drama:

This makes you sound like a drama queen. It makes you sound like a victim who expects to be hurt, and insinuates that you believe that you yourself have never broken down or overreacted in the past. And let me guess, you probably have a schlew of crazy ex-gfs/bfs. No drama says: if there is something wrong, don’t bug me about it. If you have an emotion, keep it to yourself. Now, I know there are actual drama-causers who invent problems and make demands and throw tantrums… but a little passion and clarity of emotion is healthy.

2) Please live close:

I don’t want to drive an hour for dates. Oh. So you’d definitely cross the world for me then. The good apples are always at the bottom. Hey, grab one that’s already fallen off the tree. It’s just a little rotten, it’s still good.

3) I don’t know what I’m looking for…:

Then why are you messing with people’s hearts? One guy explains that he doesn’t want to alienate the girls who aren’t what he’s looking for. Um, have some dignity and filter. Reach inside yourself and find what you’re looking for, and then proclaim it. If you’re looking for nobody in particular, then no one in particular will show up.
Dare to dream.

4) I’m bored so I thought I’d give this a try…

If you’re bored, you’re boring.
There is nothing sexier than boring.

5) Pics of you + baby:

It’s great to see your nurturing side, but not in your profile pic (!) Here, date me and this baby. If the kid is yours throw it in, but not in your profile pic, and try not to say some version of: yeah, I have a kid – if that bothers you then fuck off! This does not show your devotion to your child, it shows that you will be entering into a relationship as a judgmental and hostile individual.

6) LeTigre pictures:

You know what I mean. Those shots of you looking longingly into the distance. Man up (ladies 2), clean up, and look straight at the lens. Show up with confidence. That’s confidence, not nudity. If you’ve got a hot bod, don’t use it in your profile pic. The word “overcompensation” should explain why. Make eye contact, stand squarely, and face the camera. And for those who think that it’s all about the picture, the picture just gets you in the door.

7) I’m a pretty laidback guy/girl:

About ninety percent of you claim to be this, but laidback people don’t advertise.
I’m laidback. This means: I’m apathetic, I don’t like to rock the boat, and I’m lazy.  If you’re too laidback, you won’t have the stamina to show up for life as your hottest self.

8) Please don’t wear much make up:

Guys… most of you don’t know the wide world of make up and the relationship girls have with it. This is like women speaking on the subject of circumcision – it’s not your territory. Make up is a personal choice. It’s not about how much make up a girl is wearing, it’s about how she applies it. If you want a more Earthy girl, say this. Say you’re looking for a natural, low-maintenance girl (although accept that this might mean she won’t look like a supermodel). Girls who wear make up are just trying to present themselves in their best light and as someone’s mom once said: “they say they don’t like make up, until they see you without it.”

9) I’m kind of a big deal. I have many leather bound books…:

Intelligence translates naturally through your ideas and your writing and your eyes. There are so many types of intelligence that if you just get into the things that drive you, online daters will figure out for themselves what type of intelligent you are.

10) Bonus points if…:

Keeping a score card on your future date based on whether or not he/she knows some obscure fact only limits yourself. Do not make your guy/girl jump through hoops for you. The cute, overused: “bonus points if…” thing at the end of your profile reveals the nature with which you will be reading your replies. A better closing might be a reminder about which qualities you’re open to receiving in a future relationship.

~You’re Welcome~

And in closing: don’t hate the player-hater, hate the game.

*Feel free to leave your online dating gripes in the comments section.

Oh No They Di’nt

Flash*Veg*News

*Out With the Old, In With the…Old.

Refuel, formerly known as Fuel Restaurant, has made the choice to keep foie gras on their menu. Animal activists had hoped that establishing a restaurant with a lower price point would be the ultimate opportunity for the restaurant to turn over a new leaf in skipping the sickeningly cruel product, but owner, Robert Belcham, is bizarrely intent on continuing to support force feeding. Other goodies on the menu include Ox Tongue, whipped lard, and a dry, aged rotting flesh beef burger. Hopefully customers do not lose their lunch on the activists who will without a doubt be right back in front of Refuel protesting the product that has already been banned in 15 countries.

*Passion of the Christ!

Dog lover/cow hater, Perez Hilton reports: “Mel reportedly uses a pungent ointment made from cow’s gooey brains because it “sharpens” his mind while playing poker.”

This is not only eccentric, savage behavior but stupid. Does he think he’s going to absorb the cow’s intellect? If so, hopefully he will also absorb the centuries of emotional memory these cows have accumulated while being imprisoned, raped, and tortured. And yes, at dawnofanewera, we do take it there.

We knew Mel was creepy, but this is bordering on zombie.

This image was less disturbing to me than an actual image of Mel

*A Kill for a Kill

Last week in Boston Bar, B.C., an eleven year old boy named Austin was hauling firewood when his golden retriver, Angel, intercepted a cougar who had been stalking him. The cougar dragged the dog under the stairs and began gnawing on her neck until a nearby RCMP showed up and shot the cougar in the head. With a puncture wound having narrowly missed her brain, Angel survived. When asked how Austin would reward her, he replied: “with a big steak.”

This is a brilliant example of how children are taught to distinguish between the animals they eat and the animals they keep as pets. While the cougar was clearly the rabid, bloodthirsty killer in this story, Austin and his family play the exact same part in ordering up the execution of a similar mammal for Angel to eat.

Guardian Angel

*Animal Testers Put the Darndest Chemicals in their Products:

Aleppo Gold, manufacturer of some quite luxurious animal friendly olive oil soaps, have gathered information on some of the most toxic products in circulation on their web page:

How Toxic Is Your Bathroom?

Companies like Olay, Clairol, Johnson & Johnson, Colgate, Gilette, Nivea, Clearasil, and Listerine (ALL Animal Testers) have loaded their products with toxins that could potentially take years off  your life. Stick with animal friendly companies and, funnily enough, you’ll have more human friendly products.

How You Get What You Get

Dawn of Another New Era

Thanks for tuning in to dawnofanewera.

As of December 2009, the blog reached 1000 hits a day.

Expect much, much more randomness this year.

What better time to redefine the new era than January, the collective mental construct of the “New Year”. A new era refers to any type of new beginning. It is what eases the transition of letting go of the past. What reason do you have to let go of that which, yesterday, meant the world to you?  Because it meant the world to you YESTERDAY.

A new era can be justification for… an excessive purchase. (eg.Well, I like my old bag, but hey – it’s the dawnofanewera!)

Or, it can be an unlocked door in times of crumbling depression. (eg. Why get out of bed? Oh, right. I guess it is the dawnofanewera.)

The dawn of a new era can represent a new age, or simply the shedding of our former, beaten down selves.

But how can we become more specific in manifesting these new eras we wish to welcome?

Like

Attracts

Like…

*I recommend you get past the New Age, sickeningly happy, Ouija board loving couple who wrote this book and read The Law of Attraction.

I found value in this book because it does not, like so many other spiritual tactics recommend that you continually give it up to God (“it” being whatever hardship or hard questions fall upon you), but it instead indicates ourselves as the creators. And so I have been able to sift through the book’s often irritating form (its authors’ continuously “expressing” their glorious joy and wealth), to salvage its useful content, which is information floating around out there for anyone to receive – doesn’t matter who is dictating it.

The Law of Attraction mentions time and again that we must come to understand how we “get what we get”. While my subconscious was dismantling the concept, I waited in line for my (plus size) bags at the airport on the baggage carousel, and playing on a baggage cart beside me a little girl was singing to herself: “I want what I want, and I get what I get. And I get what I want!”

Spoiled kid, or manifestation of my subconscious..?

The Law of Attraction:

• “If you are able to imagine it, then it is not unrealistic. If from this time-space reality, you have been able to create the desire, this time-space reality has the resources to fulfill it.”
• “That which I give thought to, I begin to attract. That which I give thought to that brings forth strong emotion, I attract more quickly.”
• ‘”The way you feel is your point of attraction, and so, The Law of Attraction is most understood when you see yourself as a magnet, getting more and more of the way you feel.”
• Practicing the Art of Allowing means cultivating in yourself a state in which you are not attempting to block desire (of yourself and others). It is very important to realize that as you practice not blocking the desires of others, even when they are vicious and violent (force feeding ducks, for example) this “allowing” will become stronger in the manifestation of your own desires. It’s all or nothing. As we block the actions of others, we are simultaneously blocking our own. However, if our own desires become strong enough, and if we build up the ability to get out of their way, then we will no longer be vulnerable to the desires of others that traumatize us because we will be able to visualize solutions to the cruelty we have witnessed. If we focus on the cruelty, there will be more cruelty. But if we focus on the emancipation of these innocent beings, we are not evading their confinement and torture, we are devoting our power of  thought to set them free.

“I want, I allow, and therefore it is.”

• Try this: “I want to see _______, I expect to see ______, no matter who I am working with, no matter who I am talking to, no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing, and intend to see ______.”

And it will come to you – it is LAW.

The Time Has Arrived

Winterland: Bonus Episode

Oh No They Di’nt

Flash*Veg*News

*Broccoli Bashing on TLC

Last night on TLC’s new One Big Happy Family, a reality show about an obese family who is struggling to lose weight (…so then not so happy about the ‘big’ part??) TLC has heard society’s obsession with the obese (ie. The Biggest Loser) and given us a show for the whole family, but we’re going to jump past the potentially flawed premise of the show and target in on what happens to the big happy family when they ruin their attempt at a healthy meal (broiled chicken; they usually fry it) by placing the glass dish too high in the oven, therefore shattering it and rendering the chicken inedible. The family then sits down to eat four large plates of plain brocoli, lamenting about how they have been denied “the best part of the meal”. Vegetarians would like it, they comment – but they AREN”T vegetarian. Really? Shocking.

A vegetarian wants a plate full of broccoli for their dinner about as much as a 300lb fried chicken lover. Being vegetarian is not about serving one’s self up a load of bland vegetables. It’s about variety, cooking, and experimentation.

While it’s commendable that the family is trying new things, they are in actuality villainizing their vegetables. No one’s going to be losing any weight if you can’t learn to love healthy, fresh foods. As Judge Marilyn Milian says: Good Luck, Folks.

*Calgary’s New “Vegetarian” Restaurant, Gratitude Cafe, Serves Bacteria from the Inside of Baby Cow’s Stomachs!

Yes, that’s right. Gratitude Cafe, the new “veg” restaurant located in Kensington {and a shameless knock off of San Francisco’s vegan restaurant with the same name and menu style – though Calgary’s Gratitude Cafe mentions on their web page that there is no affiliation, uh huh…), has deliberately (according to my waitress) chosen to serve a whole lot of dairy, WITH rennet. There are no vegan cheese alternatives offered, and only a handful of vegan options on the  menu. “We’re a low-end vegetarian place,” my classy waitress went on to explain. “Most people don’t know what vegetarians are.”

What backwoods hick town did they find this chick in?

Vegetarianism is having it’s moment in the sun as more and more people learn about the horrors of factory farming.

And to the owners who made the choice to use cheese with rennet, you are offending the very clientele you are attempting to cater to. Vegetarians who come here can be sure that an animal died for their meal. (Yes, animals used for dairy will die as well, but Gratitude is not acknowledging that to obtain rennet you have to slice open an animal!)

It’s easier than I thought to bash a vegetarian restaurant. I will never eat here again.

PS My greeting at Gratitude was: “don’t worry about wiping your feet, we haven’t cleaned the floor in ten days!”

Let’s eat!

*Amex Attempts to Force Feed

This gigantore Amex ad in Sundidge Mall in Calgary is tasteless in oh- so-many ways. The ad seems to be trying to hit up common folk, as opposed to the rich (who are being supposedly defined as those who induce vomiting in ducks..?). I think we’ve all known for a while that credit card companies make their money on those who can’t pay their monthly dues. But must Amex go about their exploitation in such a blatantly classist manner? Hey all ya’ll who like to chow down on burgers, let us charge you an extra 18% to get your eat on!

And as for the outdated burger filling above, the jig is up for the myth of foie gras being some delicacy or sign of wealth. Amex might as well have posted a banner:

“We’re Number 3. We’re Out of Touch. And We Support the Most Cruel Form of Animal Agriculture on the Planet. Amex.”

*You Want It, You Got It

Tofurky sales have gone up! Report on Business recently published that Tofurky sales have risen from 500 in 1995 to over 300 000 last year. Booya~

Keep on cooking that delicious vegan roast for skeptical friends and family. The proof is in the gravy.

*8 Macho Men Who Don’t Eat Meat

Click here for a slide show of seitan sizzle.

They forgot a few hotties though, like Casey Affleck.

“Vegetarian” Vampires

The Controversial Twilight Quote

In the 1st Twilight movie, hunkofburninglove & vampire, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattison), attempts to redefine the term “vegetarian” to his mortal love interest, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart):

“We call ourselves vegetarians because we don’t drink human blood. But it’s kind of like a person surviving only on tofu: you’re never really satisfied.”

Well I object.

1) How would Edward Cullen know what it’s like to be an actual vegetarian when he’s been a rabid bloodsucker his entire life?

2) As a person who does not eat meat, I can honestly say that eating a plant-based diet is not only satisfying, but feels ethically good. When your heart hurts because you are indirectly ordering a schlew of animals to die for you, things don’t taste as good. Vegetarianism, and espcially veganism, is a lighter form of living. You still experience the same tastes as meateaters (who probably wouldn’t love “their” meat so much if it wasn’t seasoned with herbs and spices – plants, I might point out), AND culinary advancement in the vegan realm has made it now possible to enjoy even the textures of meat products in vegan substitutes. When you stop eating meat for long enough, you cease to consider it as food. It instead becomes the flesh of a confined, sloppily slaughtered sentient beings. Yumck and : ( : ( : (

Further Insight: Vegetarians don’t secretly crave meat all the time (maybe ocassionally in the beginning, out of habit). But being vegetarian is about having the cajones to decide for yourself what is healthy and changing unconscious  patterns. Having control over what you put into your body. Questioning the foods you were rasied on: What tastes good to you? Why? Would it still taste good if you knew where it came from? WHO it came from?

3) It needs to be said, the term vegetarianism relates to vegetation. This doesn’t include animals, babe.

4) In the name of tofu, when people say they don’t like tofu, I usually reply that they don’t know tofu. Tofu is the liquid metal of all foods – it can shape shift into just about any meal, as soy can take on many forms, tastes, and textures. So if you’ve had a bad experience, try something new. Tofu is great in desserts (mousse?), smoothies, stir fry, skewers, salads, omelettes… need I go on?

5) The comparison of vampires being naturally inclined to suck human blood to humans being naturally inclined to eat animals does not draw a parallel for me. Most people in modern day society could not take down a cow.

- we don’t have claws

- or fangs

-  we don’t have short intestinal tracts to quickly pass meat

- we don’t have the stomach acid to quickly digest meat

- and lastly, look around – we do not live in the wild anymore

Real Vegetarian Vampire: No Blood – Only Your Soul