Pop Culture Police

Although there is an official Vegan Police, I’m making a few citizen’s arrests here today. Up for trial are:

1) Lena Dunham from Girls

Charged: with seeming cute and innocent while needlessly hurting animals

What a great show. The awkward sex could be cut down on a smidgen. Sometimes a suggestion can go a long way. But it’s fresh, it’s current, it’s raw, and lol at times. I want to know what happens next. That’s the definition of a good fictional work.
Lena Dunham is the creator of this masterpiece (major props), and aside from a few Full House moments, it’s clear that some of the show is based on reality. How right I was to find out that Dunham used to be vegan and into animal rights.

The scene in question is her diner confession to the pharmacist that she used to be vegetarian, but then she was forced to eat roadkill and she felt herself “growing stronger and stronger with each bite.” So this would make her character, Hannah, strong, right? Have you seen her character try to jog? She is clearly out of shape and admittedly not the weight she feels best at.

This seemingly innocent anecdote did not fall on deaf ears. It’s weak sauce and a blemish on Lena’s perfectly imperfect character.

You don’t need meat to feel strong. There are MMA fighters and athletes all over the world who are vegan.

Lena, if you want to be able to jog without collapsing in the street – go veg. And if you want to create a work that speaks to REAL girls, have a vegan character. This is current. Or better yet, have Hannah go vegan. She can be self-effacingly weak willed in all other areas.

2) “Food” vendors at Shambhala & BassCoast

Charged: with preaching peace while vending violence

Welcome home, the signs say. You’ve found the holy land – the land where love lives. With all this love in the air, chowing down on factory farmed animals seems not quite apropos.

Humans celebrating freedom, while fueling themselves on the confined misery of animals who are tortured in captivity from birth to death.

These festivals have hardly any vegan options, and definitely not a single  completely vegan stand. Not even the ultra hippie ones that serve twigs and moss and forest berries.

Well PLUR you, BC festivals. These could be excellent opportunities for people to experience a taste of vegan food. And instead you serve pig parts to real-fur fox tail wearing hypo-hippies.

Living in the past. I sometimes feel that we are. Living in the past.

 

Animal Rights Idol

Do Vegans Compete for Sainthood?

I win. You lose.

I have always found the animal rights community to be an extremely caring group of people where everyone is treated as equals. Sure, there are conflicts surrounding tactics, but even the activists who personally dislike one another can still work together for the movement. Just as we believe that animals can and should be treated equally to humans (though in some cases, as required, differently), the animal rights community has been a place where all hierarchies are put aside as we work to manifest a non-violent world.

Until the other day. I’m new to this whole Facebook thing, so I’m not sure about proper etiquette for ‘friend’ing people (although I have a personal policy to never unfriend anyone (unless they are trying to kill me, or sue me, or equivalent). And so carefully treading, I added Colleen Patrick Goudreau with a message passing on my previously mentioned compliment about her plenary speech. My basis for adding Colleen was that she has almost 5000 friends, and was also friends with a few of my friends. Clearly a popular lady sure to have some interesting discussions on her wall.

I received an almost immediate reply from a woman managing her account who called herself Colleen’s “Fan Manager”, saying something along the lines of: thanks for the compliment but what makes you think Colleen has time to receive it? This is a PERSONAL account. If you want to praise her, go to the fan page. She also mentioned that Colleen has been trying to cut down on her friends (!?) and turn them into fans, so any further friends were out of the question. Seriously? I was having images of the Queen of Narnia turning her subjects into statues.

The first thing that came to mind was: hmm, a compliment does not a fan make. I’m nobody’s fan; it’s not my style. So I replied that I prefer to communicate with people as equals.

Now. I have nothing against Colleen – quite the opposite. I could never bring myself to hate any animal rights activist. But this experience caused me to question: is animal rights a popularity contest? Is it ever okay to use our success in the movement as a way to promote ourselves for personal gain? Before I continue, I’d like to state (again) that this is not a personal rant against Colleen. That would be ridiculous; I mean how awesome is it that she reaches so many people? It is a post meant to explore our motivations (and possible distractions) as individuals within the animal rights movement.

So – is an animal rights activist higher status because she’s published and on TV? Or do the animal rights activists in masks setting free caged animals have just as much of an impact on the movement? I believe that it is extremely important to maintain a level of equality within the movement or we risk becoming ourselves exactly what we are trying save the animals from being: products. 

If we are writing books, and speaking publicly, and creating brands for ourselves with any intention in mind other than helping the animals, then aren’t we just emulating the icky media-saturated world that already exists where people follow blindly the lead of those who pretend to know and be more?

This is exactly why I do not only advocate for change in animal rights, but for the end of all oppressive systems (ie. Veganarchy).

I’ve had the chance to meet Will Potter and Nathan Runkle, other busy, successful “famous” activists. They didn’t emit the same “untouchable” vibe, and that affirmed for me my lifelong place in this movement. Joanne Chang, Glenn Gaetz, and Brian Vincent are some of Vancouver’s most known animal rights activists and are all media figures… and yet they are totally accessible. approachable. “touchable” (hey now, not in that way). But my experience with Colleen’s “fan manager”? (Again, really?) sort of reminded me of elementary school. “Oh, sorry, I already told Steph, Lexy, and Megan they could eat lunch with me… there’s not really enough room for any more people, ie. you.” (Hey – we all have to learn that we’re not followers somehow).

Many vegans hold themselves above “mainstream” people as being more intelligent and more evolved (don’t lie). And this holier than thou attitude can also translate amongst our own community. Let’s not measure our successes. Let’s not develop complexes about who we think we are. Let’s remember that in order to treat the animals as equals, we must always treat each other as equals, too.

In a movement where the process often depends on some who lead and others who follow, let’s not label those who follow as fans, or even as followers. Our ideas would mean nothing if others did not gather to listen to them.

Top 3 Overrated Female Celebs of 2011

Major Stars Who’ve Been Majorly Duh Lately

1. Natalie Portman

She was perfect. Was.

Black Yawn. Seen it. America’s Sweetheart. Yeah, yeah. But Natalie Portman went vegan after reading Jonathan Safran Foer’s Eating Animals and even tried to create a vegan shoe line. Whether she annoys you in a “Girls say the darndest things” type way (copyright Hilary Henegar) she’s a famous, pretty cool vegan. Except when she’s pregnant.

“I actually went back to being vegetarian when I became pregnant, just because I felt like I wanted that stuff. I was listening to my body to have eggs and dairy and that sort of stuff.”

Maybe your body was telling you that you were starving because you went sickly thin for Black Swan. Like too thin even for a bulimic hallucinating ballerina.

“If you’re not eating eggs, then you can’t have cookies or cake from regular bakeries, which can become a problem when that’s all you want to eat.”

I’m all about being vegan for yourself and not to set an example to others. But Natalie Portman is not just anyone. She’s extremely influential, and I was really excited for her to show the world that you don’t need to eat animal products to have a baby.

If anyone in the world can afford a vegan chef to make them vegan desserts, or have enough money to not have to work to have time to bake cool stuff in the kitchen herself – it’s Natalie Portman.

Weak. White swan, in fact.

2. Kate Middleton

Princess Diana she is not.

When I'm princess, I'll get the matching coat.

Am I the only one who thinks Prince William could do better? You’re choosing not only a wife, but someone worthy of a princess title, Hot William.

Naturally I’m about to call Kate out on her fur headgear.

It just screams (at the pitch of a dying animal) “I will do whatever it takes to lock down a royal title. I will pay to have animals skinned alive. Look out world. There’s a new People’s Princess in town. And by people—I mean human supremacy.”

3) Reese Witherspoon

When I choose dumb roles, they don't expect me to be smart.

Reese Witherspoon sits and cries in her car and mourns the loss of her privacy. After spending 3 hours getting styled and revealing details about her personal life to tabloid mags, while molesting an elephant who might be more at home in the privacy of the Savanna. She has a place she likes to go and park. On Rodeo Drive.

“I mean, I feel like an ingrate for even thinking anything isn’t good. I’m very, very, very lucky. But . . . umm . . . probably that I parted with my privacy a long time ago. We went different ways. And sometimes I mourn it. Sometimes I will sit in the car and cry. Because I can’t get out. That’s the only thing: I mourn the loss of my privacy.”

Legally Blind.

Inglourious Basterds?

Is Brad Pitt a Baby Killer?

Does Angelina empathize with factory farmed animals?

Okay, we all heard from Handler the other day that Angelina Jolie doesn’t have any female friends because she’s a c-u-n-t. Then I found this quote:

“I joke that a big, juicy steak is my beauty secret,” Jolie, 35, recently told reporters. “But seriously, I love red meat.

“I was a vegan for a long time, and it nearly killed me. I found I was not getting enough nutrition.” Meanwhile, partner Brad Pitt is allegedly unhappy with Angelina’s meat addiction, and prefers their children eat a vegetarian diet.

Hmm… I’ve always respected Jolie as a strong woman. Never believe the crap I read about her. Maybe she is a c-u-n-t?

I have to say, a vegan diet is my beauty secret. Less chemicals, lighter lifestyle and essentially – purity of the heart.

I also think this is funny because Jolie previously reported that she was super skinny (which she still is, btw, on a diet of pure blood and guts) because she was grieving her mother. I don’t think Jolie needs to blame her eating isuses on veganism. I’ve been vegan for years and I’ve got curves. Have a vegan milkshake, girlfriend.

Jolie does digress however, admitting that maybe red meat isn’t her beauty secret… but she just likes it. That same taste for blood that most average people hang on to – what they’re used to.

But this post was initially about Brad. According to snippet on People…

“After a champagne toast, the couple’s meal began with soft-boiled eggs infused with truffles, followed by an artichoke soup with a glass of white wine. For main dishes, “she took a lobster dish, and he ordered a cote de veau, with mashed potatoes seasoned with truffles.” Their wine accompaniment was a Bordeaux: a Paulliac from Chateau Lynch Bages.”

Cote de Veau is veal, and well – you know People ~ they get it wrong – they get sued.

So what’s the real story with Brad and Angelina. Do these baby lovers hate babies?

And do any of their humanitarian deeds mean anything if they don’t give a fuck about the unfathomable suffering taking place this very second on factory farms all over the world?

Charity going out doesn’t mean much when it’s based on a sick, tangled abusive energy source.

Let’s send out a mass tweet to Brangelina’s PR.

I Love It When You Call Me

Big Poppa Pitt

has been in a tizzy

about the ol’ spill,

…calling out his homeboy Obama for his questionable role in the largest environmental disaster in American history, in which eleven workers died and everyone in the world pretended they were numb to it but slowly felt the oil leaking into their internal organs as they sat at their desks/on the subway/in traffic,

leaking leaking leaaaaakkkkkkiiiing – the thick black toxicity permeating our kidneys.

“I was never for the death penalty before – I am willing to look at it again,”

the actor said, London’s Daily Mail reported.

But what do we do here on dawnofanewera? We call a brother/poppa out. SO, to quote that rap song that keeps playing on the First Nations station – “Take a look at yourself, take a look at yourself, take a good long look, take a look at yourself.” And by this I mean: as one of the largest consumers on the planet, Bradley – having amongst the most resources, ie. the  entitlement to consume – what consumer choices are your Jolie-Pitt clan making that might be also resulting in not only animal but human deaths?

BUS-ted: Big Poppa at McD’s Drive Thru

THIS article sums it up exquisitely:

Killing Animals Hurts People

by: Vance Lehmkuhl

‘YOU CARE more about animals than you do about people.”

Advocates for animals hear this often, especially around the time of Saturday’s Great American MeatOut. In reality, eating animals causes a great deal more human suffering than going without. The amount of harm done to humans by the animal industry is enormous, and no other industry could get away with it. It persists only because people care more for their habits than for their neighbors.

On the broadest scale, livestock production helps fuel global climate change, accounting for anywhere from 18 percent (U.N. estimate) to 51 percent (Worldwatch Institute) of all greenhouse gases. The entire human population is also threatened by animal-derived viruses (e.g. bird flu, swine flu, SARS, tuberculosis) of which factory farms are prime incubators, says the Pew Commission on Industrial Farm Animal Production. Among other “public health threats” the commission names is the overuse of antibiotics on healthy animals, which weakens the drugs’ effectiveness for sick people. Add to this the outsize consumption of an ever-more-precious resource – fresh water – and already the livestock industry is bad for people as a whole.

Locally, the impact is more direct, the problems more acute. Air and water around factory farms are said to cause breathing problems among their neighbors. The Pew Commission stresses that the gases generated by factory farms are associated with respiratory problems like asthma for “communities proximate to those facilities, as well as populations far away from these operations.”

The commission also cites “depression and other symptoms” attributed to animal-farm emissions. Manure contamination of sources of drinking water is also a danger, given the toxicity of E. coli and the potential effects of hormones in contaminated water.

But it’s not all bad, the thinking goes: What about jobs?

Even that is a mixed bag. Certainly, a few get very rich off of livestock, but in general, workers are exploited right along with the animals. Dairies and slaughterhouses are often stocked with immigrants (illegal or no) who have little choice, and less voice, in their dangerous daily tasks. Injuries from corralling and dismembering large animals get downplayed, as the workers know they’re dispensable – and invisible.

While slaughterhouse workers clearly have a dangerous job, dairy employees (also often illegal immigrants) fare little better. An expose in High Country News detailed the misery, injuries and inhuman treatment common in these under-$10-an-hour jobs.

Animal-industry work takes many forms: Although hundreds of children and adults were likely scarred for life by witnessing trainer Dawn Brancheau’s death at a SeaWorld show, at least she died doing a job she loved. Dairy and slaughter workers encounter horrific workplace accidents (and fatalities), without the media attention.

The effect of the gruesome workplace dangers is damaging, and, as with the environmental degradation, it also washes downstream. A recent study found that even after controlling for demographics, race, unemployment and other supposed crime-related factors, a stark correlation remained: “Slaughterhouse employment increases total arrest rates, arrests for violent crimes, arrests for rape, and arrests for other sex offenses in comparison with other industries.”

Yes, the killing of animals – including the “humanely raised” ones at Whole Foods – apparently leads to the killing of people, as we might expect given the many studies that show children who violently abuse animals are most likely to grow into human-abusing sociopaths.

Lastly, let’s remember consumers themselves, who raise their risk of hypertension, heart disease, cancer and stroke with every bite of meat. Add to this an additional 76 million cases of foodborne illness and 5,000 deaths each year, overwhelmingly caused by fecal contamination by livestock.

All of these harms are related: Since we don’t want to watch what we’re paying to have happen to animals, meatpackers routinely break both humane-handling and food-safety laws. The same people who don’t worry about causing animal suffering also don’t give a hoot about you – only your dollars.

Living a nonviolent, compassionate life is good for us and good for the planet. Going vegan largely eliminates the bad effects listed above. Try it, and give the animals – and your fellow humans – a break.

PS Brad – LOVED you in Legends of the Fall. For serious. Cred where cred is due.

The Two Big Games

Capitalism and Playerism – 7 Links

This is Simon Rex, AKA Dirt Nasty.

He’ll be our model for this post

(This is disgusting!

…and yet kind of hot…)

*Men – if the following doesn’t apply to you then don’t take offense . I’m discussing a type – that type being The Player, and to this type some of these correlations may ring true.

1. Scarcity

Capitalism is based on scarcity. The more scarce a product is, the more it’s generally worth because of the fear that it will soon be unavailable. Humans live in constant fear of things running out – of not being able to obtain a product that’s in low supply. This fear creates an emotional parallel, making some men believe they only have so much love to give – a finite supply, if you will. They only have so many years of youth and a player doesn’t have time to let a female mess with his game. The tight capitalist grip on not only material goods but intellectual property runs deep – stockpiling assets a practice very similar to emotional hoarding.

2. Sociopathy

Anyone who watched The Corporation knows that a corporation has all the same traits of a  sociopathic person. This sociopathic behavior has a way of transcending those special pieces of paper that bind together the corporate world and becoming an intrinsic part of the player’s personality. NML’s Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl discusses a breed of ambivalent, ambiguous, non-committal men who get off on the unconditional love of confused, masochistic (and also  non-committal) women. The behavioral patterns of these relationships are on par to that of corporate functioning – the man asserts his autonomic need for monopoly and dominance at the expense of those who “believe” they are emotionally dependent upon him. Sociopathy is all about using people rather than sharing with them. It’s about gain – what does this woman have to give me? What is she trying to take from me?

3. Variety as Freedom

In this capitalistic world, we’re chained to our 9 to 5 jobs like dogs on leashes. Our reward, we tell ourselves, is consumer freedom – we get to choose what brand of cereal to buy, what brand of clothing. (Though the larger the corporate spread, the less choice, hmmm…) This what-color-do-you-want-to-paint-your-cell? lifestyle forces us to cling to choice as the main thing that defines us. We are what we buy, and to some – who we date. This mindset of feeling powerful primarily through choice elicits a deep-seeded indecisiveness in the player accompanied by a greedy first world entitlement that he should have it all. “If I choose her, what if someone better comes along? How do I know she’s the best one? How do I just pick one? Do I have to? Isn’t that limiting myself?”

As Napolean Hill states: “The most powerful people in the world makes decisions quickly and undo them slowly.”

A million dates with random hos does not a satisfying connection make.

4. Superficiality

With all the gloss and glitz of the media, modern men live in a world of images. They are constantly taunted by Maxim magazine wherever they buy their food/toiletries/literature and kept in a state of perpetual arousal. Poor things. So naturally their “pickers” are off (lingo courtesy of Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker). They want pretty, they want shiny, and they want boobalicious, because this is what they’re told to want. They associate these attributes with symbols of status and these shiny pretty images cause a discord between what they’re seeing in the media and what they see in front of them, fostering an unreasonable perfectionism within their imperfect minds based on false standards. Just as Dirt Nasty bases his image on bitches and bling (at least he’s tongue and cheek about it), the modern day player follows suit to establish what he believes is a powerful role for himself in society.

5. ADD

In the subtle manipulation of the capitalist world images are constantly flashed in front our eyes before we can even identify their meaning. Advertising is meant to trigger our subconscious before we even realize what reaction we’re having. Having been raised in front of their televisions, players are trained according to a see-it-must-have-it mentality. If it’s not in their hot little hands ASAP, if they’re not mentally stimulated 24/7, they can feel like they’re missing out and will look to said female in their lives to provide them with the satisfaction previously provided by multi-million dollar television networks and their PlayStations. As detached from reality as this viewpoint is, it’s the secret broken childhood of many players that causes them to act on impulse and break hearts. See it, must do it, did it – NEXT!

6. Autopilot

Capitalism breeds a spectator culture in which we’re supposed to watch the world go by, a technique to keep us in our place and keep our participation at a low lest we stir  up some genuine trouble. The modern player doesn’t have to do much to rake in women if he has even the slightest bit of sex appeal. With a bit of flattery and an ass grab, women will flock to him like Dirt Nasty to a pile of coke. Way back when, a proper caveman had to go out and drag a woman to his cave and then ensure that she stayed with him to raise his offspring (I’m sure there was a lot of rape and abuse that came from this practice, but nonetheless…) Now, women everywhere are well-trained by the media to look perfect and doubt their self-confidence. The player only needs to prey on these female weaknesses to get laid. And operating from this position of apathy, he will score a lot of p**** without undue strain on his brain from the exceptional few females that could put him in his place. The autopilot player takes ‘er easy, and if she’s easy – takes ‘er twice, BUT! he misses out on the best lay of all – the infinitely orgasmic mindfuck that only a truly intelligent, self-assured woman can give him.

7. Competition

Capitalism creates an eat or be eaten world. It sparks an insatiable hunger in the player to a) acquire the newest and best, b) keep up with their homeboys, and c) keep their inner worlds more secure than yours – U Can’t Touch This!  (There are passwords, ladies…Christian Carter is your friend.) The player is stuck on the treadmill of lust competing for: a) the latest greatest female version (which conveniently means that those old ones who know their issues won’t be bugging them anymore), b) the SUPREME playa status (he’s a wild stallion – no one can hold him down), and c) a bulletproof heart with armed forces strong enough to blow yours out of the water to maintain the  high priced premium insurance of the platinum upper hand.

The player at play…

Ooh You Try to Front

…Know Just Just What You Are

Animalizer, animalizer, animalizer Ba-by.

1. The Devil Uses Glaucoma Medication to Sprout False Eyelashes

But that’s not what this is about. Brooke wants to advocate for younger generations to anally and vaginally electrocute small animals wear fur. She recently fulfilled a twisted fantasy of designing her own carcass pelt. Here’s what PETA has to say:

“When I was a little girl, I dreamed about growing up to be a rock star. Or maybe a veterinarian. Or a roller derby queen. I didn’t dream about anally electrocuting animals on fur farms, but apparently Brooke Shields did…We understand that when some actors’ careers begin to fade, they’ll do just about anything to stay in the limelight, including appearing in eyelash-growing commercials and starring in short-lived TV shows. But Brooke, did you really want the world to remember you as a ‘fur pimp’ who stares agog at rows of animal skins?”

What part of appointing animals to live their lives in a cage no bigger than their own size only to be skinned alive makes a woman a good mother? Because I’m fairly sure Brooke likes to pimp this image of herself.

2. Glee Star and “It Girl” Lea Michele is Vegan

Also Jenna Ushkowitz,on the show 2, is vegetarian. I have no idea who these teeny boppers are – but go girls. Compassion really does increase the hotness factor. Am I right guys?

3. Millionaire Matchmaker Red Meat Faux Pas

A lesson in love Patti still needs to learn.

For reasons half in-the-closet, Millionaire Matchmaker is one of my favorite shows. I love seeing how people interact and self-sabotage. Last week on the show, two eco-conscious millionaires were featured. One was a narcissistic gay clothing line owner from West Hollywood. Sure, he admitted to wanting to date himself, but after a loud awkward hot-air balloon ride with his little man date, he actually told his date not to order the steak because it wasn’t eco-friendly, and that was kind of rad. Meat is NOT eco-friendly. Sure, the environmental effects of animal agriculture are not limited to red meat, and homeboy got a little tripped up by telling his date to have the chicken instead, later explaining that red meat comes from red animals (?) but he was in the right. Maybe it wasn’t appropriate first date etiquette to ban menu selections from his potential future Ricki Martin, but Patti Stanger (definite meateater, maybe cannibal…) tried to put him in his place for not knowing what he was talking about and homeboy was onto something.

Cruella dE-Vil

Kelis Gets All Up in PETA’s Grill

(Tried to share the video with you, but up in Canada we are often left out of online videos.)

Apparently Kelis’s vid talks about how your fashion is: ““your calling card and your resume, in a sense”. This is precisely why I want to wear fashion that’s cruelty free. Fashion says a lot about who you are. Are you another faceless number in the masses, wearing what is advertised to you, or do you seek out humane pieces of clothing because you want to vote for a more peaceful fashion industry?

When Kelis isn’t busy being a camel-toe sea monkey swamp donk…

(Did I just say that?… Ah well, Kelis brings out the hoochie in all of us)

She’s busy sweeping the shearings of her cocapoo into a dustpan and UHUing them together in a tribute to a hirsute Pere Noel, like this:

OR, she may be found rocking the middle-aged female gorilla trafficked to a swank Siberian zoo look:

I’m not sure which punishment is worse, being skinned alive, or having to live your afterlife on Kelis’s milkshaken bod.

Kelis also tries to drop it like a Pratt by insisting that she would have fur walls if she could.

“I just feel that someone that feels the need to protest about someone else… it’s completely insane.”

Kel, maybe the milk glands have leaked into your brain and spoiled under the heat of your babushka hat. PETA does have a right to protest your fashion choices because there is violence behind them. I’m all for anarchy, but for an anarchist society that is non-violent. I know it’s a stretch to consider singing about topics other than how fly you think you and your dairy-making jigglers are, but there is a higher plane of thought that involves considering the suffering caused by the effects of your decisions. We suggest you take a note from Rebecca Dawn.

While I’m not a PETA-thumper, rolling my eyes at them with the rest of the world when they, say, call out Obama for smacking a fly in self-defense, PETA is 90% logical and 100% shit-disturbing, and they deserve credit for that.

For you upper class US citizens, check out her rant:

A Newwwww Building!

Bob Barker donates 2.5 mil to PETA

The guy is pretty rad. First he spread the word about pet overpopulation, and now he’s helping to end the fur trade.

With the monays, the “Bob Barker Building” is being built, which will open on Wednesday on the corner of Sunset and Alvarado in LA; it will be a headquarters for marketing and youth outreach where they think up brilliant ideas like this:

Show me what the dawn of a new era looks like…

Vegas Billboard

This is what the dawn of a new era looks like.

Mercy for Animals, the creator of these billboards was founded by the adorable and amazing, Nathan Runkle.

Photos from www.vegansoapbox.com

Unfurgivable

Top 3 Pro Fur Needless Violence Celebs

1)’Nye

Douche & Douchier

You don’t have to be intelligent to be famous these days; all you need is a mostly naked and mostly bald gf and cap locks:

WHEN IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE, REMEMBER THE FEARLESS, REMEMBER THE DREAMERS, REMEMBER THOSE WHO REPRESENT THE GHETTO…THE FAIRY TALE OF NOTHING TO SOMETHING. I’M BRIEFLY SADDENED BY NEGATIVE COMMENTS, BUT I HAVE TO REMEMBER THOSE PEOPLE ARE SCARED, INCAPABLE OR JUST PLAIN IDIOTS. WE ARE THE F*CKING ROCK STARS BABY. NO COCAINE, JUST LIFE MY NIGGAS!! NO COCAINE, JUST LIFE! IT’S FUNNY TO ME WHEN FASHION BLOGGERS DOWN OUR OUFITS AND THEN SUPER JOCK OUTLANDISH SHIT ON THE RUNWAY BUT THEN THEY DRESS MAD PRUDE AND DON’T LIVE FASHION. WE LIVE IT MAN. F*CK THAT, WE LIVE IT!!! WE LIVE IT SO HARD PEOPLE LIVE THROUGH US! WE REPRESENT YOUR INNER SPIRIT!! THE CHILD IN US ALL, THE BRUTAL HONESTY, THE NAIVETY, THE BRAVE WARRIOR, THE ADRENALINE THAT ALLOWS A MOTHER TO LIFT A CAR IF HER CHILD WAS TRAPPED UNDER IT! REMEMBER, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN EVERYBODY DISSED MICHAEL JACKSON EVERY CHANCE THEY COULD. IMAGINE THE PRESSURE OF BEING A TRUE ICON. VERY FEW HUMAN BEINGS ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE CONSTANT HATE!!!

For all purposes, we’ll consider ourselves fashion bloggers here.

Kanye loses his focus in the first line… something about ghettos and fairytales. Then he explains how normal people shouldn’t wear fur,  maybe, but rockstars can. But they can’t do coke, or something. Then he calls out all those who don’t wear fur for being poor dressers, or actually “mad prude” (I resent that ‘Nye – I LIVE fashion motherfucker, I F*CKin LIVE IT MAN!!!!! and don’t wear carcass). He further explains that to show your inner spirit you must steal the spirit of another. Whether this spirit is from the animal he’s wearing or from Michael Jackson, we’re not exactly sure. So in conclusion: if you want the adrenaline to lift a car off your kid, wear fur and get a girlfriend who dresses like a teletubby (we’re not saying she’s a gold digger…). Mmmkay?

BTW, it’s not just the fashion bloggers who dislike you, ‘Nye.

2)Kate Hudson

Penny Lane is Dead

I mean, Kate Hudson isn’t really about “faking it”. Just check out her acting. You want to like her, she has a cute kid with girl hair, and yet that’s where her motherly instincts stop. Kate’s fur fetish is inherited by her mother, Goldie; they romp the streets of Aspen in stolen skin. But that’s no excuse; it’s up to the younger generation to repair the mistakes of our elders, so Kate, pause from man-hopping for a moment  and nicorette yourself onto the fabulous faux out there. (Crazy – Almost Famous is on TV as I write this…) Kate, since we’re fashion bloggers 2day, we’re labeling your look: Almost Faceless, cause your boots (and probably coat) once had a face and you ripped it off of them.

3) Samantha Ronson

Lindsanity showered by flour in Paris by an activist. Thought she liked getting baked.

This is what the limelight looks like, bitches.

SaMan:

“It seems lately I am learning that there are too many people who put another species before their fellow man and that’s sad. I don’t wear fur, but I don’t think I have the right to ATTACK those who do. No one has that right.

PETA should focus their efforts on educating people on what they believe are injustices instead of seeking press via harassing those in the limelight...p.s.s. i think there are plenty of families that could have used that flour for a meal. nice job, lady.”

And there are plenty of animals who could have used that skin!

Peta’s Reply:

“There is nothing remotely ‘fashionable’ about the torture and death of animals killed for fur. Lindsay Lohan might be able to ignore images of bloody animals skinned alive for their pelts, but we hope a dash of flour will help her rise to the occasion and forsake fur once and for all.”

@ SaMan: if you were to be attacked, which would you prefer?

a) your skin ripped off your body as you twitch in unimaginable pain?

b) having flour dumped on you?

Choices choices…

Oh No They Di’nt

Flash*Veg*News

*Dawn of a New SCAM!

Dawn liquid dishwashing detergent is trying to promote themselves as animal saviors with their campaign featuring oil-covered animals being washed by Dawn soap. How stupid does Dawn think we are? Firstly, if you were going to wash a delicate animal, wouldn’t you use some… oh… animal shampoo – something that wouldn’t singe their eyeballs? Dawn is just another toxic, TESTED on ANIMALS product. Dawn is grease cutting, bla bla bla. Want to know what’s in Dawn? They won’t tell you. Go to their website. They will direct you to a page that tells you what might be in a dish soap (?) Madness. Even on their label, they leave out certain ingredients as “confidential”. But the epitome of Dawn’s hypocrisy is that they are owned by our most hated Procter & Gamble – some of the world’s worst animal testers. Dawn is killing animals behind the scenes to build an ad campaign based around the false persona of being animal lovers.

*Dumbest “Celeb” in Hollywood Gets Dumber

Audrina Patridge is one of those right-place-at-the-right-time celebrities. She lived in Lauren Conrad’s apartment complex during the beginning of The Hills and was just tanned and booby enough to fit in. Audrina, otherwise known as Ceiling Eyes for her vapid stare, tries to dress rock n’ roll, and apparently she thinks this look is encapsulated by a rodeo T.

Ceiling spends SO much time trying to be the nice one on The Hills, then goes and wears a shirt depicting animals who bred to be bullied..? This fashion statement shows a level of ignorance beyond Ceiling’s devoted years as JBob’s Uchitel.

*Smokin’ Hot Royal Chooses Non-Ethical Sizzle

It hurts my heart to have to criticize my beloved Prince William. When Princess Diana died, I devoted a page to him in my “Nothing” book (scrap book), using a prince and princess sticker to illustrate our eventual happiness together, long blond braided hair flowing past my kneecaps. William is so dreamy and educated and gallant… so why is he frying up little… wtf are those poor things a’sizzlin on the grill? Obviously William grew up with a traditional English diet, but given his copious charity work and knightly manner you would think he would at some point question who he was eating. How the animals may have been raised. How they suffered. How they were slaughtered. Maybe one day, he will extend his peacekeeping past the human race.

*Crazy Bag Lady Kidnaps Angelina Jolie’s Kids

Um, hi, Angelina’s stylist? Didn’t you get the memo? NO ONE wears paper bags anymore.

When you have a Titanic of staff members at your beck and call, you would think that one of them might remember your cloth grocery bags. You have a world of children to impress upon, Miss Pretty.

Unrelated… *Why do they dress Shiloh so butch all the time? Girl’s going to need transformative gender surgery by 10.

“Vegetarian” Vampires

The Controversial Twilight Quote

In the 1st Twilight movie, hunkofburninglove & vampire, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattison), attempts to redefine the term “vegetarian” to his mortal love interest, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart):

“We call ourselves vegetarians because we don’t drink human blood. But it’s kind of like a person surviving only on tofu: you’re never really satisfied.”

Well I object.

1) How would Edward Cullen know what it’s like to be an actual vegetarian when he’s been a rabid bloodsucker his entire life?

2) As a person who does not eat meat, I can honestly say that eating a plant-based diet is not only satisfying, but feels ethically good. When your heart hurts because you are indirectly ordering a schlew of animals to die for you, things don’t taste as good. Vegetarianism, and espcially veganism, is a lighter form of living. You still experience the same tastes as meateaters (who probably wouldn’t love “their” meat so much if it wasn’t seasoned with herbs and spices – plants, I might point out), AND culinary advancement in the vegan realm has made it now possible to enjoy even the textures of meat products in vegan substitutes. When you stop eating meat for long enough, you cease to consider it as food. It instead becomes the flesh of a confined, sloppily slaughtered sentient beings. Yumck and : ( : ( : (

Further Insight: Vegetarians don’t secretly crave meat all the time (maybe ocassionally in the beginning, out of habit). But being vegetarian is about having the cajones to decide for yourself what is healthy and changing unconscious  patterns. Having control over what you put into your body. Questioning the foods you were rasied on: What tastes good to you? Why? Would it still taste good if you knew where it came from? WHO it came from?

3) It needs to be said, the term vegetarianism relates to vegetation. This doesn’t include animals, babe.

4) In the name of tofu, when people say they don’t like tofu, I usually reply that they don’t know tofu. Tofu is the liquid metal of all foods – it can shape shift into just about any meal, as soy can take on many forms, tastes, and textures. So if you’ve had a bad experience, try something new. Tofu is great in desserts (mousse?), smoothies, stir fry, skewers, salads, omelettes… need I go on?

5) The comparison of vampires being naturally inclined to suck human blood to humans being naturally inclined to eat animals does not draw a parallel for me. Most people in modern day society could not take down a cow.

- we don’t have claws

- or fangs

-  we don’t have short intestinal tracts to quickly pass meat

- we don’t have the stomach acid to quickly digest meat

- and lastly, look around – we do not live in the wild anymore

Real Vegetarian Vampire: No Blood – Only Your Soul

Is Killing Funny?

A Critique of Amy Poehler’s Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation is a spinoff of The Office (which is a spin off of the much funnier not even comparable original British version of The Office). Parks n Rec is filmed as a mockumentary of a government parks department. I sometimes watch the show because I love Amy Poehler;  she’s one of the best female comedians out there. Howevs, in tonight’s episode of Parks and Recreation, the comedic theme was wild turkey hunting. The office heads out into the bush to shoot turkeys and someone accidentally shoots the boss in the back of the head. I find it interesting that when killing, or rather “hunting”, is shown in pop culture format, all the gore is removed. Can we see the birds bleeding to death, can we see them being skinned? No. This part is not funny. At the end of the episode, the back of the boss’s head is revealed – a shaved patch revealing where eight or nine pellets were lodged into his scalp. Funny – because it looks gross, and excruciatingly painful. But we never got to see these same wounds on the birds, who assumingly die this way. Why? Guess it’s not funny.

I’m just wondering why, if those who critique veggies as basing their choices on “beliefs” (not accurate information), then why is the same respect not given to veggies as would be given to a religious group..?

Whoa, treading on some controversial ground here. Let’s dumb it down again:

Amy Poehler = Funny

Hunting = Funny, apparently

Actual Suffering and Death Inflicted As A Result of Hunting = Not Funny

Perez Tells Portman to STFU

Funny, how often Perez Hilton tells people to STFU, considering that he has such a flaming tongue. Today, Perez is putting aside his message to Stop the Slaughter and calling out vegan and animal activist Natalie Portman for an essay for the Huffington Post she wrote about veganism.

Natalie Portman is against killing. Are you, Perez?

Here is part of Portman’s response to Jonathan Safran Foer’s Eating Animals:

“I say that Foer’s ethical charge against animal eating is brave because not only is it unpopular, it has also been characterized as unmanly, inconsiderate, and juvenile. But he reminds us that being a man, and a human, takes more thought than just “This is tasty, and that’s why I do it.” He posits that consideration, as promoted by Michael Pollan in The Omnivore’s Dilemma, which has more to do with being polite to your tablemates than sticking to your own ideals, would be absurd if applied to any other belief (e.g., I don’t believe in rape, but if it’s what it takes to please my dinner hosts, then so be it).”

Perez claims that Portman is taking it too far, but has he considered that rape is the basis of the animal agriculture industry?

These animals we eat for their flesh never normally never see a member of the opposite sex of their species for their entire lives. They are artificially inseminated and made to give birth time and time again, until they are considered spent at a young age, then sent to slaughter, many not even making it through the treacherous journey to the slaughter house.

“How about from now on, you eat your lettuce and we’ll eat our steak and neither one of us brings up rape as a means of comparison?”

Perez Sez

Well, Perez, we suggest that you medidate on your quest for equal rights, your campaign against animal cruelty, and your best friend, Teddy, and consider whether that steak is yours to eat after all. The animal agriculture industry contributes at least 30% of the world’s greenhouse gasses, so maybe it’s not just Natalie’s responsibility to go veg but one that humanity needs to open up to together.

 

Factory Farming – Ugh! As If!!!

It’s such a dawg eat dog world out there these days, people assume that taking, killing, and gorging are part of the process of nourishing ourselves. But if you’ve ever pondered the thought: you are what you eat, the substances that you choose to ingest are not only forming your physical self, but your inner self. {If you’re not vegan, please don’t getcha back up here. Being Halloween and a peak emotional time for me, I’ve hit up a few Reese’s lately (although I’m sure if I had a bit more drive to bake, I could concoct something vegan just as good…)}

Alicia Silverstone’s new book: “The Kind Diet” is sort of the antithesis to “Skinny Bitch” while sharing the same knowledge. Getting older doesn’t have to mean getting fat and sick. I always knew that Cher would make it to the top. Now, if she could just make another good movie (instead of this Miss Match crap).Go Girl.

Credit Where Credit Is Due

Perez Steps It Up

Perez might be on the Just-Let-It-Go Team regarding the events of 9/11, but he’s stepping up now to take a stand against Canada’s archaic seal slaughter in the name of his beloved Teddy.

PSwizzle and Teddy

We need as many celebs on board as possible to end this assault on nature’s young, and what better time to speak up than before the Olympics.

“Every year, sealers bash in the skulls of baby seals and hook them in their eyes, cheeks or mouths, then drag them across the ice – sometimes while they are still conscious! This is disgusting and wrong!!!!” sez Perez.

“The European Union and the U.S. have banned seal fur. And world leaders as diverse as Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and Obama have condemned the massacre of baby seals. Get with it,Canada.”

“We are so outraged by this unnecessary cruelty! We’ve taken part in the “Save the Seals” Celebrity Ad Campaign alongsid Kelly Osbourne, Jennie Garth, and more.”

Top 3 It Girls…

…Who Can Do No Wrong!

1. Taylor Swift

Taylor Not-Too-Swift may be the number one selling whatever on the planet right now for her country-pop-blah, but is she really the stepped-on-kitten everyone is making her out to be after the Kanye debacle?

“Swift Pick. In this business, you’ve got to be decisive. So I choose milk. Some* studies suggest that teens who choose milk instead of sugary drinks tend to be leaner and the protein helps build muscle. So eat right, exercise and drink 3 glasses of lowfat or fat free milk a day. Music to my ears.”

*…Other studies show that the vast majority of adults are lactose intolerant - dairy contributing to eczema, acne, anemia, arthritis, ADD, fibromyalgia, headaches, heartburn, indigestion, IBS, joint pain, osteoporosis, allergies, obesity, heart disease, diabetes, autism, Chron’s disease, breast cancer, and prostate cancer (!)

Factory farmed milk contains dioxin – one of the most toxic substances in the world, and when you digest dairy, you’re also digesting all the anti-biotics, growth hormones (if you’re American), pesticides, and steroids that the cows are ingesting. The bovine growth hormone, legal in the US, makes cows produce ten times the milk they normally would, causing bleeding and infections of the cows’ udders. Not to mention the constant pain and grieving the cows endure being kept perpetually pregnant, having their babies ripped away from them (who they would normally form longterm to lifelong relationships with), and having their sensitive udders hooked into a machine all day.

Can we give a major Boo-Urns to Taylor Swift for her choice of endorsement here?

If milk farmers didn’t spend millions of dollars a year promoting their products the public might be able to learn about the diseases caused by milk, but instead Not-Too-Swift chooses to reap the profits by diseasing millions of people.

2. Sarah Jessica Parker

Chix love to live vicariously through SJP, whether on the small screen or the big screen. But is Carrie really the Manolo hero Sex In the City makes her out to be?

We are calling you out, Carrie Bradshaw, on your failure to properly research the product you’ve chosen to represent. Garnier is owned by l’Oreal, and l’Oreal TESTS ON ANIMALS. This means that to have photoshopped lucious locks like Carrie’s, you would be paying for a product that practises the Draze test, a procedure in which toxic chemicals are dumped into the eyes of animals while their heads are kept in restraints (their necks often snapping as they try to escape), and you would also be paying for tests that pump chemicals into the stomachs of animals (a hole sometimes cut in their throats) to see how many chemicals the animal can ingest before dying. We’re talking mice, rabbits, cats, dogs, and sometimes primates.

Fuck Garnier and fuck SJP’s lack of judgement here. She’s smarter than this.

Try Naturcolor instead: all natural and not tested on our friends.

3. Rihanna

Poor Rihanna. She got hit in the face pretty bad by her ex, Chris Beat-Her-Down Brown. Rihanna would never hurt anyone. Directly. She would only endorse the unnecessary deaths of millions of animals if they paid her the right price.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but did Chris Beat-Her-Down Brown pour chemicals into Rhianna’s eyes until she became blind? Did Chris-Beat-Her-Down Brown keep Rihanna in intense confinement during the entire course of their relationship? Did he hack muscle tissue off Rihanna’s thighs to test his new cologne on? Brutal humor here, but am I at least proving a point?

Pop sensation, Rihanna, is fueling the multi-billion dollar industry of animal testing and encouraging millions of teens and tweens around the world to jump on board in supporting this archaic, horrific business.

As cutting edge as Rihanna is supposed to be, she is not the voice of the future, but the voice of the past.

Boycott all Procter & Gamble products and Boycott Cover Girl and tell Rhianna what you think of her lack of compassion. Boycott abuse to humans AND animals.

Canada’s Next Top Model Forgets A Little Something

We all know that the Procter & Gamble sponsored CNTM (like its inbred cousin ANTM) is by no means ethical entertainment, whoring out everything from animal-tested Cover Girl make-up, to animal-tested Crest Whitestrips, to animal-tested Olay… but when HSUS spokesperson and professional dreamboat, Nigel Barker, took the girls on a photoshoot to harp seal breeding grounds, he forgot to mention the horrific slaughter these baby seals experience yearly in the Canadian commercial seal hunt. Now that would have been a sexy photoshoot -

Hakapixies On Ice!

“This is their territory, this is their house, and we’re the guests…” Barker explains, omitting the fact that men with hakapiks come into their “house” and sloppily kill them off in front of their mothers by the thousand. Even Rebecca Aldworth from Humane Society International doesn’t mention the bloody massacre of 300 000 baby seals that occurs here yearly.

Were they censored? Or did they sell out?

It appears they consented to censorship, as Nigel Barker is more than aware and concerned about the issue:

Nigel blogged about the controversial trade, first explaining that this is a large-scale issue for the animals: “Canada’s commercial seal hunt is the largest slaughter of marine mammals on Earth. In the past three years, more than one million seals have been killed for their fur.”

The practice is condemned, supa-fine Nigel said, for the particularly cruel way in which the seal fur is gathered. “In 2001,” he writes, “an independent veterinary panel studied the commercial seal hunt and concluded that the seal hunt results in considerable and unacceptable suffering.”

Nigel isn’t afraid to give his reader a less-clinical take on the practice (readers who are particularly sensitive to animal cruelty might find some of this paragraph a little rough to read), “Well, being clubbed over the head when you were only a few weeks old and left to drown in your own blood could give that impression! Almost half the baby seals aren’t even unconscious from the clubbing before they are skinned alive.”

The America’s Next Top Model judge won’t be swayed by any arguments that the trade is too vital an industry to be discontinued, saying, “In Newfoundland, where more than 90 percent of sealers live, income from the seal hunt accounts for less than one-half of 1 percent of the province’s economy and less than 1 percent of Newfoundlanders participate in the seal hunt. So banning the hunt is not about the small financial inconvenience to a few humans but the massive suffering of millions of beautiful baby seals…..”

He’s created a tee-shirt for the cause – a line drawing of a seal with a collar saying “Save Me” and has a website – www.bansealtrade.org – at which other individuals who have concerns with this practice and for the humane treatment of other living creatures can sign a petition in protest of the practice.”

Zexy is as zexy does.

3 Animal Loving Celebs Who Promote Animal Cruelty

1. Drew Barrymore

Until recently actress Drew Barrymore was not only a vegetarian but also regularly featured in PETA press releases and features for her activism. Alas, Barrymore has abandoned veganism for a typically Hollywood reason — it just wasn’t exciting enough.

The woman whom PETA once lauded for turning down a Vogue cover because of her anti-fur beliefs apparently discovered that it just isn’t easy to accessorize while boycotting all of that fur and leather. Barrymore told IMDB.Com,

still don’t eat a ton of meat, and I don’t wear a ton of leather, but I just don’t put strict limitations on myself anymore. I don’t beat myself up. I didn’t wear certain designers because I didn’t want any animals to suffer for beauty and stuff, and so I literally was dressed by Old Navy at one point. I still shop there, happily. Urban Outfitters and the Gap, I love those stores. You need basics for stability, but eventually I got tired and wanted to play again. Dressing is like an art form – it’s so much fun.

We all love Drew, but why would she choose to promote Cover Girl, owned by Procter& Gamble, one of  the world’s worst animal testers? Drew, Drew, Drew…

2. Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi will  be honoured by the Human Society next month for their love of animals, so it’s both ironic and disappointing that it’s been brought to our attention that vegan Ellen is the Cover gal for Cover Girl cosmetics, a company that still tests on animals.

Even more ironic, the ads featuring Ellen will debut around the time she is given her award.

Deceiver.com put its ever so sarcastic slant on things:

Proposition 2, eh? I remember that. It was right around the time she signed up to become Cover Girl’s newest spokesmodel, despite the fact the beauty company is the largest that still tests on animals. Die, bunnies!

What on Urth is Ellen thinking”? She’s one celeb who isn’t doing it for the vanity or the glamour. Man up, Ellen – open your eyes to what’s really going on and the role you’re playing to perpetuate that.

3. Unfitney Spears

Where do we start??

• buying puppies from pet stores who came from puppy mills (which later mysteriously disappear…)
• eatin’ fried chicken ya’ll, and when on a diet to tone her gams – plain ol’ chicken. And burgers – Brit Brit loves her some In n’ Out!
• using animals onstage in her circus tour (which are kept in confinement and bred for the sole purpose of entertainment, electric shocks often used to make them perform) Even though BS often complains about feeling trapped like a caged animal.
• Wearin’ rabbit fur (while buying a caged parakeet…)

Like Britney says: she’s not that innocent.

We sure don’t wanna piece of that!

PS What have you done with Bit Bit?

PETA Drops The Ball

“Canteloupes” Anderson Promotes NYC Steakhouse Strip Club

PETA comments justifies:

“Pam is not a host but may be attending as an invited guest, and since steakhouses nowadays have some of the best salad bars and veggie options around, we’re sure she’ll find plenty to eat should she attend.”

“In summary, if you pay Pamela Anderson a butt-load of cash, she will do just about anything. Pamela’s only pro-animal when it’s convenient. She would sell out and eat steak for a new AC unit for her trailer. People say you can’t put a price on dignity, but Pamela has a detailed chart that proves you can.“

“Pamela Anderson is not the brightest bulb in the shed. A while back, she posed naked for PETA’s “I’d rather go naked…” campaign, and has been one of their celebrity spokespeople. That didn’t stop her from wearing Uggs, however, or driving a car with leather seats, or being a spokesperson for Vivienne Westwood, who uses leather and feathers in her lines.”

Commentary from: The Blemish

Steak Is Basically Vegetarian Because Cows Are Herbivores, Right?

We knew Pam was hypocritical, but PETA?

I will never be against PETA because they do so much for animal rights, but they’re famewhore schmoozing has just been taken to a new level. In every unhealthy relationship, there is the key red flag meat moment to leave – PETA: time to get some self-esteem counseling.