Nostalgia Extinguished

Bush says he wants to write a book asking people what they would have done as the president of the United States – shame he didn’t ask anyone at the time…

Originally from Calgary, I would like to thank Bush for reminding me where I come from.

This man, dressed as a prisoner from Guantanamo Bay, brought with him a shoe cannon. Police intervened on the grounds of fashion victimization.

CALGARY, Alberta – Former President George W. Bush said on Tuesday that he won’t criticize Barack Obama because the new U.S. president “deserves my silence,” and said he plans to write a book about the 12 toughest decisions he made in office. Former Vice President Dick Cheney has said that Obama’s decisions threatened America’s safety. “I’m not going to spend my time criticizing him. There are plenty of critics in the arena,” Bush said. “He deserves my silence.” Bush said he wants Obama to succeed and said it’s important that he has that support. Talk-show host Rush Limbaugh has said he hoped Obama would fail. “I love my country a lot more than I love politics,” Bush said. “I think it is essential that he be helped in office.”

Hey... is that my dad?

The invitation-only event titled a “Conversation with George W. Bush” attracted close to 2,000 guests who paid $3,100 per table. Bush received two standing ovations from the predominantly business crowd. About 200 protested outside the event.

Four of the 200 protesters were arrested for things like ‘breaching the peace’ and violating ‘public behaviour bylaw.’ One man was arrested for tossing a flip-flop that hit a building, which may or not proceed with pain and suffering charges. 79 taxpayer funded officers protected the event.

Bush is unpopular in Canada but less so in oil-rich Alberta, the country’s most conservative province and one sometimes called the Texas of the north. “This is my maiden voyage. My first speech since I was the president of the United States and I couldn’t think of a better place to give it than Calgary, Canada,” Bush said. The event’s organizers declined to say how much Bush was paid to speak at the gathering.

Bush said that he doesn’t know what he will do in the long term but that he will write a book that will ask people to consider what they would do if they had to protect the United States as president. He said it will be fun to write ghostwrite and that “it’s going to be about the 12 toughest decisions I had to make.” “I’m going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there’s an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened,” Bush said. “I want people to understand what it was like to sit in the Oval Office and have them come in and say: okay we’re going to bomb the fuck out of our own people – you in?” “It’s hard,” Bush says. “So hard that sometimes all you can do is read a children’s book upside down.”

Bush was also full of jokes during his appearance. He joked that he would do more speeches to pay for his new house in Dallas. “I actually paid for a house last fall. I think I’m the only American to have bought a house in the fall of 2008,” he quipped.

Using their Calgarian calf-tying skills, these two cowboys git 'er done.

Bush seemed to enjoy himself even though the event started a half later than expected because of tight security. “I’ll sit here all day,” Bush said during a question-and-answer session. “I’m flattered shocked people even want to hear me in the first place.” (taken in part from theshittymsn.com)

Only one question remains: how long does it take to write a book with Crayolas?