January 20, 2010
*Dawn of a New SCAM!
Dawn liquid dishwashing detergent is trying to promote themselves as animal saviors with their campaign featuring oil-covered animals being washed by Dawn soap. How stupid does Dawn think we are? Firstly, if you were going to wash a delicate animal, wouldn’t you use some… oh… animal shampoo – something that wouldn’t singe their eyeballs? Dawn is just another toxic, TESTED on ANIMALS product. Dawn is grease cutting, bla bla bla. Want to know what’s in Dawn? They won’t tell you. Go to their website. They will direct you to a page that tells you what might be in a dish soap (?) Madness. Even on their label, they leave out certain ingredients as “confidential”. But the epitome of Dawn’s hypocrisy is that they are owned by our most hated Procter & Gamble – some of the world’s worst animal testers. Dawn is killing animals behind the scenes to build an ad campaign based around the false persona of being animal lovers.
*Dumbest “Celeb” in Hollywood Gets Dumber
Audrina Patridge is one of those right-place-at-the-right-time celebrities. She lived in Lauren Conrad’s apartment complex during the beginning of The Hills and was just tanned and booby enough to fit in. Audrina, otherwise known as Ceiling Eyes for her vapid stare, tries to dress rock n’ roll, and apparently she thinks this look is encapsulated by a rodeo T.
Ceiling spends SO much time trying to be the nice one on The Hills, then goes and wears a shirt depicting animals who bred to be bullied..? This fashion statement shows a level of ignorance beyond Ceiling’s devoted years as JBob’s Uchitel.
*Smokin’ Hot Royal Chooses Non-Ethical Sizzle
It hurts my heart to have to criticize my beloved Prince William. When Princess Diana died, I devoted a page to him in my “Nothing” book (scrap book), using a prince and princess sticker to illustrate our eventual happiness together, long blond braided hair flowing past my kneecaps. William is so dreamy and educated and gallant… so why is he frying up little… wtf are those poor things a’sizzlin on the grill? Obviously William grew up with a traditional English diet, but given his copious charity work and knightly manner you would think he would at some point question who he was eating. How the animals may have been raised. How they suffered. How they were slaughtered. Maybe one day, he will extend his peacekeeping past the human race.
*Crazy Bag Lady Kidnaps Angelina Jolie’s Kids
Um, hi, Angelina’s stylist? Didn’t you get the memo? NO ONE wears paper bags anymore.
When you have a Titanic of staff members at your beck and call, you would think that one of them might remember your cloth grocery bags. You have a world of children to impress upon, Miss Pretty.
Unrelated… *Why do they dress Shiloh so butch all the time? Girl’s going to need transformative gender surgery by 10.