Ga-ga-ga’s In-fes-ted Ga-ga’s In-fes-ted
September 15, 2010
Flash *Veg* News
Creative Genius or Vapid Whore?
Lady Slab’a (Meat) was busted on Ellen the other day after wearing a dress made of the innards of abused animals and presented with a veg bikini. “Just my luck,” she said after finding out that Ellen was vegan. But the next statement reveals more about Lady Slaba’s limited mind than ever before. When asked what the purpose was of her fleshy fashion, she gave this weak, not quite proper English statement trying to link her dress to homosexuality:
“If we don’t stand up for what we believe in we’ll have as much rights as the meat on our bones.”
Methinks she said the meat on “our” bones instead of animals’ bones because she realized last minute that being treated like a piece of meat is actually not an edgy comparison, but just sad to many people as it evokes the very real images of factory farming.
PETA issued a statement supposing that Gaga’s meat ensemble—dress, boots, purse, hat—was likely hopping with little worms: “Meat is the decomposing flesh of a tormented animal who didn’t want to die, and after a few hours under the TV lights, it would smell like the rotting flesh it is and likely be crawling in maggots—not too attractive, really.”
And PETA could be right. According to the laws of Sweet Lady Science, once a fly lays an egg—say, on a rotting carcass, or a promising piece of flap meat—if the weather is warm, the eggs hatch in the next eight to 20 hours. Given that most gowns, particularly custom ones, take at least that long to design and execute, Team Fernandez would need to either keep the meat in a totally fly-free fridge, or hire an anti-insect squad armed with couture swatters to guard the dress around the clock until Gaga could don it.
“Maggot infestation can happen quickly on raw meat at room temperature and will develop faster with heat, accelerated by being close to skin and under hot lights,” says Dr. Shawki Ibrahim, chief scientific advisor for Grow Green Industries. Plus, “the dress is definitely puts her at an E.coli risk if she had a cut on her skin, but otherwise it’s just the stink factor.”
You can’t stop cruelty with cruelty. Duh.
Animal Rights Activists Stage Protest at Alumni Event
On Tuesday, STOP UBC Animal Research, an animal rights group, held a protest at the Cecil Greene Park House during an alumni event to protest animal experimentation at the university. Brian Vincent, a spokesperson for the group, said he was happy with how the event turned out.
“I’m very proud of how the volunteers represented the organization,” he said. “They adhered to the mission statement of being very peaceful.”
He also said that UBC officials were respectful of their right to free speech.
This protest was the latest action in a media campaign the group has been undertaking over the past month.
STOP, which is an offshoot of the Animal Defense and Anti-Vivisection Society of BC, advocates for the abolition of all testing and research conducted on animals at UBC. They were inspired by an 2008 article published in The Ubyssey entitled “Cruel Intentions.”
In the article, Dr. Chris Harvey-Clark, director of UBC’s Animal Care Centre, claimed the university might be “the second largest biomedical campus in Canada.” According to Vincent, STOP has upwards of 200 members, including a private Facebook page.
The group claims that one of their primary objectives is to have greater transparency when it comes to animal research.
“We think that the public has a right to know how their money is being spent,” said Vincent. He said that STOP’s ultimate goal is to hold a debate between scientists on both sides of this issue.
However, UBC VP Research John Hepburn said that information regarding research on animals is “the intellectual property of individual researchers.”
Moreover, Hepburn worried that some of the information that STOP was asking for could be misinterpreted.
Hepburn said that STOP’s objective is unrealistic, which is why the university will not engage in a dialogue with the group.
“It’s important that UBC, as a major research institution, tries to find cures to major diseases,” he said.
Hepburn went on to say that testing on animals is a regulatory requirement for agencies such as the Food and Drug Administration and Health Canada before anything can be tested on humans.
“You don’t want to stop research on animals because there is no substitute,” said Hepburn.
Recently, Hepburn sent an email to faculty and staff warning them to “remain vigilant…to help mitigate potentially unpleasant and violent situations” due to the increased activity by animal rights groups around UBC’s Vancouver campus.
In response, Anne Birthistle, another STOP spokesperson, said that the group’s presence at UBC had been threatened. Hepburn maintained the email was a response to a YouTube video in which an unidentified person tried to gain access to research facilities on campus, which he said was not to his knowledge associated with STOP.
“[I believe that] STOP is a legitimate group that is representing the rights of animals,” said Hepburn. “I am not worried about their campaign. I am concerned with the [groups that] follow.”
Aritzia is Carrying Fur Again. Fuckingest biatches
Just when Aritizia was proud to have gone fur free, the formerly awesome clothing store has started selling a coat with a racoon-dog fur trim! I approached the manager of the Pacific Centre location today who stated that they have no choice to buy it because they need to kiss ass with their designers and have no mind of their own, and/or aspirations to be cruelty-free. Such a shame when their carry awesome labels like Community which makes clothing out of organic materials. Le Grr (copyright to my homegirl, Lana, on that term ; )
Update: click here to find out Aritzia’s response!!!
Dairy Farmers go D-List
When I went to order a vegan pizza online from Domino’s last week, a message came up when I said no cheese that went something like: “Sorry, your pizza will have no cheese, but we still have to make it look that way to keep the dairy farmers of Canada happy.” I was like who the what now? I sent a quick, polite message to customer support and within days had 3 employees reply to apologize and tell me they were removing the comment from the site. Go Domino’s! Will we see more vegan options from you in the future?