You know me. I always want to talk about the things I shouldn’t. That means busting everyone’s balls and getting personal, especially about myself.

One subject I’ve become interested in this year is validation. Why? Because I used to think I was pretty independent. Late 2013, discovered that I had some holes in my boundaries where dependency had snuck in. This terminology – recognizing our boundaries, is key to harnessing validation and self-love.

A great visual representation of validation are those little red notifications in the upper right corner on your FB page. You’ve got people who WANT to talk to you! You’ve got things going on! You’ve got people who WANT to be your friend! ding ding ding – worth.

When you do something cool, you expect Likes to come rolling in. What??? Why did my PhD get 45 Likes, and Tila Tequila’s Hitler hussy pic get 423??

You could argue that you don’t care what other people think. This would be true if you were off the grid living as a yeti. Just you and your lonesome. You could call yourself a ‘private person’. Perhaps you’re an introvert who only needs a few friends. Good on you, but what happens when those few fail you? You could say that you don’t have time for Facebook – you live in the REAL world. You’re a rare find, if that’s the case. Everyone and their grandma is now on Validationbook.

I held out until 2011 to join Facebook for the reason that I saw the popularity contest in it and I didn’t want to get ‘sucked in’. Since I’ve joined, I’ve realized its full value (see prior post). As in all things cyber, Facebook is just reflecting back the real world to us. So then back to the dimension of reality: what happens when (real) people don’t give you the reactions that you want? How do you deal with hearing NO? Or with -gasp- rejection?

Let’s go law of attraction here for a moment.

When you’re having a great day, thinking positive thoughts, feeling breezy, and you’re faced with an ambush – a person who lashes out or puts you down or rains or your parade, law of attraction dictates that you invited this person into your experience. Teal Scott would say something like: ‘you created the experience of rudeness as a call for an experience of kindness’.

So if for example you were going through a break up, law of attraction would dictate that you  brought it on yourself. Brought on betrayal so that you could send out manifestations of lasting trust, or something along that line of thought.

So let’s say I went through a break up (what a coincidence, I did). I’m a person who takes the advice of only a few people, and my ex-boyfriend was one of those few people whose opinion I respected (because I so wanted to have a handsome man in my life whose opinion I could respect), so when his opinion of me suddenly changed, I was devastated. Teal Scott would say that I’m severely misguided because enlightened people know that everyone is equally their soulmate and to give one person this elevated status is laughably delusional. Whether it’s one person or everyone – when you seek their validation, you are displacing your internal power.

The website Baggage Reclaim kept telling me to check my self-esteem, which confused me further, because I thought I had high self-esteem. I have a strict thought regime. I have self-esteem! I protested. I know I’m worth A LOT. Defective? Fuck no. Extra-developed, is more what I struggle with in communicating with people. No one hurts you unless you allow it, the website kept telling me. No one can tell you all about yourself unless you agree. It was true – I had let another person’s opinion of me and our relationship crush me. It only takes ONE. And just as the ego ‘comes in the back door’ (Teal) with quiet thoughts about how we are separate (above?) others in various little ways, so do dips in self-esteem. A devastating thought is a thought of low self-esteem because it does not reflect your actual power. It is not always an obvious thought such as ‘I suck’, it can be a thought such as ‘the relationship ended and I didn’t want it to’ because these thoughts reflect the quality of being powerless against circumstance, when high self-esteem is always mired in responsibility. A train of these thoughts leads to deeper and deeper sadness, which is a heavy and defeated (although valid and valuable) feeling.

Could you call it a hole in my boundary where I let my ex-boyfriend’s opinion of me become worth a lot/too much? (Yes.)

Isn’t caring what people think a key component of being human? (It’s human, in that it’s human to make mistakes. The real human need is about caring about others without caring what they think of you.)

A friend recently posted on Facebook: those who value you contact you. I believe this is true BUT this assumes that people are clear in their values, clear that they can and should be surrounded by their favorite people, and also that they have the self-esteem to know that they deserve you in their life. If they can’t see themselves clearly, they can’t see you clearly, and therefore they def can’t love you. I once nursed a crush for 13 years and I can tell you that I highly valued this person (from a distance), but I didn’t have the confidence to be around him. I still value this person, although he’s married now with a kids, and our society dictates that there is no possible way for us to have any type of friendship, not to mention that he probably hates me for screwing him around with my perpetual ambivalence. Clearly I still have some validation issues there…

Self-Love is Selfish 

I recently asked two family members the simple question: do you love yourself?

They looked confused and changed the subject. I brought it up a second time, and this time one indicated that he liked himself but didn’t LOVE himself – that would be vain. The other person indicated that she trusted herself, but didn’t trust others (…and this validated her urges to worry about them. This may have been a grandma type individual).

Isn’t that interesting? Self-love seems as uncomfortable a topic as straight up masturbation.

When people worry about others, it is not a form of love or care, it is simply them projecting  fears onto others. Letting self-love be limited by a drive for humility or selflessness does not serve us. Self-love does not need to stop when we feel as though: I don’t even love other people this way, so I couldn’t possibly be that kind to myself. (Aha moment?) And we don’t need to deny ourselves self-love in place of thinking about/worrying about other people. Self-love is yours and yours alone even if you hate every other human on this planet.

Self-love is a practice. The first step is to give ourselves permission to clearly acknowledge that it is a ‘thing’ of value that is available to us, and the second step is to run a diagnostic on how much we’re giving ourselves and where we can give ourselves more.

Queen of Self-Love, Louise Hay, provides a lovely grandmotherly voice guiding you on how to love your inner child and this is a great entry point for reprogramming our perhaps not entirely conscious inner dialogue.

Full circle – she purports that what we give out, we give back, so without self-love- we are not able to love others. This is a liberating concept because taking the blame off of others who are hurting us and placing it back in our own hands makes it easier for us to forgive those who have ‘betrayed’ us.

Our beliefs shape our experiences, shape our destinies.

This is the core of Louise Hay’s teachings, and also Abraham-Hicks, Teal Scott, Christian Carter, and Natalie Lue (NML). So you’d best be getting up in there and figuring out what your beliefs are, and then asking yourself what you’d like them to be. The difficult part is in believing that you actually have the power to change the beliefs.

In attempting to process my break up, I came up with this harsh but true belief:

No one will ever understand me and be able to interact with me in the way that I want

The side effect of this belief in the relationship was this: He doesn’t fully get me? Well of course he doesn’t. It’s up to me to show him who I am and what I want. Unfortunately who I am and what I want stressed the guy out.

This complicated woman (me) usually ends up with chill, ‘easy going’ (passive aggressive)  guys because the complicated intellectual men quickly reveal themselves as trying to school me and I’m all ffffffuk that shit lolol. While I dream of a meeting of the minds, what I tend to experience when I go down that route are closed, mindFULL minds who want to dominate my brain. As an independent thinker, this is just a pain in the ass to me. And that is why, Mom, (in addition to needing my boyfriend to be fit enough to climb a mountain with me,) I date guys in construction.

The Difference between Self-Love and Vanity

Self-love. In order to love yourself, you have to date yourself. Get to know yourself. Find out what you like, what you want – what differentiates yourself from others.

Savour spending time alone. Savour your fears.

Be gentle with yourself, and challenge yourself.

Be ‘honest’ with yourself. Cliche. What areas of your life do you hesitate to examine? Look at your relationships – did you leave too soon? Stay too long? (Marianne Williamson) What areas of your life are you unhappy with and what are you doing to contribute to that?

The more a person tells you how great they are, how much money they make, how beautiful they are, how young they look, how good they are at _____, how awww-worthy their relationship is, the more Oscar speeches they give on Facebook > the less they love themselves. These occurrences are bids for you to fill up their self-love containers! They don’t know how to do it themselves. Those shiny happy people in Hawaii who keep hashtagging  #BLESSED – aren’t !

It feels exhausting to be around these people who are buzzword-ly referred to as ‘psychic vampires’ because they are tapping in to your energy stream that is meant for you, and denying themselves of their own. These people deprive you from the joy of giving them positive feedback because before you go to do it, they’ve already instigated it.

The Difference between Self-Love and Fame

Fame is the ultimate in external validation seeking. Beyond Facebook, seeking fame is saying to yourself: that’s not enough for me – I want more, more, more.

We tend to believe that fame usually finds people because they are special and not the other way around. ‘It happens when you’re not looking for it, like love’ – among my most hated of proverbs. The only reason love or fame would seemingly happen under these circumstances is if you’ve already put in the time and given the requests space to breathe, like an unattended slot machine.

That said: the experience of being SEEN – that is of worth. That is a gift you can purely give yourself.

Signs of a Truly Confident Person

Go to any male dating guru, and he will tell women that to get the guy you need to exude confidence. Get it together you weak-ass women. If Prince Charming sees an ‘emotional display’, he’ll know that you’re a little validation seeking machine. Newsflash: if you’re 100% confident in yourself, he still might not like you. He might be intimidated by you. Your clarity of wants and needs – he might see this is domineering. Or you might not be hipster/gangsta/country etc. enough for him. Yes, guys can be shallow as fuck.

Go and be that confident woman. If your’e not dealing with a confident and clear guy – your future with him is off the table.

Can you be confident and shy? Yes, you can be a shy confident person. You have to know your shyness, and set up systems that work with your shyness. Or in other words – be confident being shy. We’re all wired differently.

Confidence is seeded in inquiry. The confident tour guide knows the ins and out of the city. Know thyself. Among my fave of the proverbs.

Do we need to be wise and wordly to be confident? Not even. Be confident in not knowing; be confident with your curiosity.

So What is the Healthy Way to Relate to Others without Validation Seeking?

Good question, right? Like Ali Lohan says: I had to go all the way around… just to get back where I started from.

When I realized that I’d been a sucker for validation, I was mad at myself for being weak. And I literally succeeded in stopping to care what people thought of me almost entirely. It’s liberating. It’s exciting. It’s a light way to live.

But then you face this: wait – what’s the point in creating art if I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks?

I’m slowly finding balance here. Some drive inside me, the one that wrote this blog on anti-oppression, has a huge drive to respect others. Chiseling off the rough edges of my personality, the moments when I’m called to battle sticking up for myself when no one else will – these are the moments I pay attention to now. If I can make it through these moments, this means I can really be the person that this blog wants a planet of.

Self-love as the seed for anti-oppression.

Self-love as that stickler elementary school teacher who wouldn’t let you get away with shit. Self-love in place of validation – because it’s all you have. All else is just a bonus.

And that is the boundary between validation and self-love – mathematically speaking:

love for others ~ must be funnelled via
< love for self >* ~ must exist to receive
love from others

*middle of equation. {and what lies in the middle of things? boundaries!}

The Law of Compassion

October 17, 2011

Another Weak Attempt from Esther Hicks

at Justifying Animal Suffering

In watching an animal themed ‘Abraham’ video on You Tube the other day by Esther Hicks, I was once again disappointed to hear Esther Hicks referring to animals as ‘beasts’ and trying to strip them of their likeness to humans.

She told a story of a hen whom she named Henny Penny and explained how she was so sweet and loving, then a wonderful mother to her chicks, and then when the chicks grew up, she pecked each one on the head and made them make their own way.

Esther Hick’s point was to show that animals are really not like humans, suggesting that a human mother would never do this to her child, and therefore when we see animals as having human qualities, we are simply imposing our own humanity onto them.

I object to this faulty logic in two main points.

1) Humans ARE like Animals

I can tell you that when I turned 18, it went from being ‘our’ family home to ‘my parents’ home, followed by a barrage of ‘what are you going to do with your life’, ‘move out’, ‘get a job or pay us rent’, etc. This post is not to judge my parents, although there are harsh and gentle ways of helping your kids through this transition. I could also point out that a few of my friends whose parents over-supported their kids through this transitional period ended up with kids who had drug and alcohol problems, depression, or self-esteem problems.

My point is: on some level, it’s normal for parents to ‘peck their young on the head’ to push them out the door. The more successful the parents are in doing this right, the better the relationship with their kids will be afterwards, but in some way, all parents (whether chicken or human) must go there.

2) Animals ARE like Humans

“When they are separated from their families, friends, or human companions, cows grieve over the loss. Researchers report that cows become visibly distressed after even a brief separation from a loved one. Cows are especially dedicated to their young and the bond formed between a mother and her calf remains long after the baby has grown to adulthood. Separation causes them tremendous stress and agitation. If mother and calf are separated by a fence, the mother will wait for her calf, even through harsh conditions like intense heat or cold weather, hunger and thirst. Cows have even been known to break fences and walk miles to be reunited with calves that were sold at auction. One can imagine the trauma a dairy cow must feel when her calf is taken from her shortly after birth. It’s well known to farmers but rarely discussed that mother cows continue to frantically call and search for their babies for days after the calves have been sold off to veal farms.

Not surprisingly, studies have found that cows recognize and respond to kind treatment from humans. Edmund Pajor of Purdue University said that cows will actually produce significantly more milk when they are spoken to gently than they do when shouted at and handled roughly. According to Purdue’s findings, it doesn’t take much for the cows to feel badly – they reacted poorly to even a simple slap on the rump meant to keep them moving. Cows don’t forget being hurt and seem to hold grudges not only against other cows, but also against people who have hurt them or their family members.”

Global Action Network

Esther Hicks contiually tries to make the point that even if every human were to go veg, animals would still eat animals (forgetting that many animals don’t eat other animals). But why does this matter? She says that animals do not have the ability to reason like humans, implying that there is no point in humans bothering to use reason in the way we interact with animals. But Esther always lectures to not worry about what others are doing, that the only thing that matters is if YOU feel good. So who cares what the animals do? It’s about what we do, as a collective human race, and as individuals.

Straight up: Esther Hicks’ handicap in addressing any and all compassionate people who come to her with questions about animals is in my opinion based on her inability to consider giving up meat and other animal products. She reasons that animals don’t feel pain in the way that humans do, and purports that that this knowledge is coming to her from Abraham.

I would challenge Esther Hicks to examine – then why does it make you FEEL  uncomfortable to watch animals being slaughtered? Isn’t it all about how you FEEL? Why do you, Esther, eat other people’s chickens and not your own? (as she admitted in another lecture). And how can you, Esther, justify that animal agriculture is creating widespread famine and environmental destruction? Would these not be dips in the emotional guidance scale that inspire us to set forth rockets of desire that in turn create a better reality? Why do you never remind people of the law of attraction when it comes to animals, Esther? You try to make people feel helpless on this topic. Just accept it, you instruct. But all the rest, you can change on a vibrational level. All except this.

Sorry, Esther. You’re busted.

Where Ignorance and ‘Positivity’ Collide

Deconstructing sad love the name of the LOA

In further considering my last post about the Law of Attraction & Ignorance, I thought of a perfect example to show the difference between getting into the LOA flow and getting caught in a tornado of ignorance.

Unfortunately, I have to get semi-personal to explain. I’ll keep the emotional-ick factor on the low.

When I was 24, I was dating this guy – we’ll call him Vortek because whenever I think about him to this day I fall into a vortex – an unproductive one, and basically I thought he set the stars. Every time I looked at him, a magic wand was waved and I would drift into Vortek land.

Anyway, after a few very strange paradoxical events that I interpreted as fate (but would probably interpret now as the LOA), I went to visit Vortek where he lived in Nelson (long distance relationship – space sure can make things pretty). And well, Vortek, being a commitmentphobe just like I like ‘em, was overwhelmed with all this – us sharing a room for the weekend, getting closer, me meeting his friends, being his new girlfriend when he was just out of a relationship. But did I register Vortek’s fears? Yesandno… They terrified me because I never wanted to lose him – ever.

So I told myself everything was fine – that I would make it fine. And if he was going to act like a jerk and hurt me, well then he could just see how much his actions hurt me and then he would fall even more deeply in love with me when he saw how much I cared. It was fine that our connection was super intense. It was fine that he was pulling away because I would ‘be there’ for him to remind him why were were good together. It was fine that he was ignoring me… right?

Say it with me: ignorance. His, sure, but more importantly – mine.

Though I was seemingly practising positivity, really I was pouring pink paint over a huge mess that was very real and in ignoring the real situation – that Vortek needed time and space – at the very least. I was trying to ‘make fetch happen’ and have enough love for both of us. I was trying (however bravely) to stifle the fear of us not working out by being the bubbly girlfriend I thought he wanted. Creepy, you said it.

NOW, you could argue that if I’d really believed in my heart of hearts that we’d be together in the end, the energy of my actions would have been totally different – not fear-based and creepy, and Vortek wouldn’t have lost attraction for me. BUT, in order for me to get to a place where I really trusted that we’d both be happy in the end, I had to get to a place where I let go of the end result (ie. whether we’d be happy together) and this was not an easy place to get to. What I needed to do was go deep into my mind and soul and challenge myself to reveal where I wasn’t being honest with myself. It took me years.

So what would the right way to practise the law of attraction in this situation have been? To use the art of allowing to let Vortek experience whatever he was needing to experience that weekend, and to let myself be upset and disillusioned, and take the physical space to feel that way in the hopes of getting to a place where I could ask to feel differently. I needed to acknowledge that I was miserable in order to fix it. I could have left and taken a breather; my absence in this situation would have been attractive to Vortek, who needed to breathe and think himself.

At the time, I was trying my hardest to think positive thoughts, but sometimes positive thoughts are not enough. They do not work instantaneously (well, they work faster if you understand the law of attraction), and they definitely don’t work if you’re not feeling what you’re thinking about.

NOW, when you understand the power of the law of attraction,  your thoughts become even more powerful because you know their weight. But I didn’t at that time. And the best thing in that situation would have been to let go of my Elmyra-like grip on the situation (I want to loove you and squeeeze you, etc.) and replenish my self love instead of using false-positivity  to try to muscle back into place the crumbling walls of my relationship.

What I’m saying is: the law of attraction should never be used in place of questions, even if those questions evoke feelings of fear or sadness. The LOA can however be used to guide you towards asking effective questions. This requires getting very familiar with the art of allowing. (Google it.)

If you’re curious (about life, yourself, others), there’s a good chance you’re working the LOA.

Did Vortek and I continue down a long, messy, complicated path of I-love-you-I-love-you-nots? Of course. But no need to get personal unless it’s for a good reason.

The law of attraction is based on reaching for the best feeling thoughts. But without understanding it in a very specific way, it can come across as sheer ignorance.

A rather traditional loved one once told me that we should only believe that which makes us feel good. To some extent, this is true because according to the LOA, a belief is just a thought you keep thinking. But what if you alter your beliefs according to things that you think make you feel good, with a fear of getting stuck in the critical negative stuff along the way?

For example:

“It makes me sad to think that milk comes from a grieving mother, so I think about the cows as being happy.”

I don’t know much about Esther and Jerry Hicks’ personal lives, but I do know that they refer to animals as ‘beasts’ and think that animals ask to ‘play the game’ of confinement and slaughter with humans. These thoughts probably feel good to them on some level because they allow them to keep on living a life they’re comfortable with.

Jerry Hicks feels uncomfortable that he owns a traffic jam of luxury cars, so he tells himself that the making of the cars is supplying people with jobs. BUT, if he had stretched his mind over into some potentially uncomfortable territory, he may have come up with different positive thoughts to make himself feel better about being rich, such as lobbying for a higher minimum wage, auctioning off a few of his cars for charity, or becoming involved with the Venus Project to ensure that all transportation is better quality and safer in the future. See the difference? The latter positive thoughts actually require action. Jerry’s positive spin on his guilt about hoarding acquiring luxury cars is somewhat lazy.

A big part of the law of attraction is about not turning our attention to that which we cannot fix, such as the actions of others. But, if the actions of others are hurting us, then those actions are no longer that person’s personal business.

To each his own – people say who want to wear fur. The fur is soft and looks expensive, so it makes them feel good, they argue. But knowing the statistics of how many animals die horrific deaths in the fur industry each year, this level of suffering directly impacts MY life experience. In order to know these truths, I had to “go there” into some pretty horrific territory. See what I’m saying? You could reach for the easy positive thought and come up with some self-propaganda like: “well, fur is green”, or you could challenge yourself to look at the footage of animals being skinned alive and reach further for a positive thought like: “I’m going to educate people on what they’re wearing so this doesn’t happen anymore, and knowing my power feels good.”

Another example of where Esther and Jerry get just a little too carried away with the (singing) *think-happy-thoughts-hmm-hmm-hmm-doo-doo-dooo* is when Esther/Abraham states that it is NEVER of value to talk about problems with a friend.

There is no reason to deliberately stir up problems in order to stir up solution.”

“It is detrimental to you and to whomever you draw into your negative conversation.”

(The Vortex)

I think Marianne Williamson explains it best by suggesting you approach hardship with a statement like:

eg. “I’m fucking pissed, but I’m willing not to be.”

Acknowledging you’re suffering in order to learn how to ease the pain.

She suggests not to try to purify yourself, but to go to your Source to be purified.

If I was hurting and couldn’t see a way out of it, I would hope that a friend would let me into their mental space for a moment to hear me out, allow me to be where I’m at, and then show me a more positive spin on things as an option. That’s how I see my role as a friend.

I’ve had a few friends who I’ve mentioned sticky situations to in the past who have said things like: “I don’t want to hear about it”, or “oh well, (change the subject)”.

I don’t see this as a refusal to be caught in negative energy, but as individuals acting on judgment for whatever reason (they don’t think they’re strong enough to take on your problem/they’re holding themselves above you/they’re emotionally unavailable  – whatever).

Bottom line: it is indifference, not hate which is the opposite of love.To care about people, sometimes you must accompany them on their journeys to difficult places.

Misery loves company could be reworded – humans love company.

In order to not fall into ignorance when attempting to use the law of attraction, I’d suggest:

  • don’t reach for the easy positive thought, reach for the active solution
  • don’t cram sunshine and rainbows down the throats of depressed friends
  • don’t be afraid to go into the darkness to learn what light is to you

All this beginning, beginning, beginning stuff…

I think I may be a commitmentphobe.

What does vegan mean to you?

1. Aritzia has STOPPED selling fur

Read their comments here, the same words that CEO Brian Hill told the Vancouver Animal Defense League today. Thank you, Aritizia. We knew you were better than that. And thank gawd because in my heart of hearts I didn’t want to stop shopping there. (I did however refrain while this process was in the works). Aritizia is making a great decision.

Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We understand and appreciate these concerns.  Aritzia did not design or produce these items – they were purchased from an external vendor. Aritzia will not be ordering these items again in the future.
…and this:
It is with much regret that we have learned that one of our external vendors (someone we buy from) has been using animal products that are not consistent with our beliefs.
We are proactively removing the product from all of our stores and would like to thank you for sharing your concerns with us.
Kind regards,
Corinne, Aritizia

So now, please direct your letter writing skills to the makers of the coat: Mackage – awesome taste in fashion, sick and twisted choice of materials. It’s so SAD, I tell you. To lose great designers to shitty ethics.

*The funniest part is imagining the peeps at Aritizia headquarters trying to pronounce the name of the blog post that was written about them. Easier if you sing it, guys.

*Update: Aritzia has removed all the Mackage fur coats from the floor. How amazing is that? Not only have they decided to be fur-free, but they have also taken immediate action.

Thanks, Aritzia. I knew there was a reason that I spent thousands and thousands of dollars at your store.

2. Stop UBC Animal Cruelty Research Pulls off Huge Demo

Why would I waste my breath telling you about it when this hot girl wrote such a great, albeit almost neutral sounding, piece for Granville Online. I’ll take neutral any day when Dr. John Hepburn sabotages an actual pro vs con argument by saying shit like this. For those not willing to click that link (and it’s a good one), he’s accusing animal rights activists of making spooky midnight phone calls to researchers. Basically trying to accuse peaceniks of violence, again. Yawn. What can I say besides: leave a comment! Check out the dramz. Peeps impersonating Brian Vincent, angry Kanye capitals – it’s all there people.

3. Desire Rocket…Law of Attraction site never launches

Waw-wawwwww. For those of you who actually remember, I was starting a law of attraction based website this summer called Desire Rocket, but then a friend of mine showed me this site he was doing stuff for called Genius Rocket – a site for artists to pitch ideas to businesses, cool, completely unrelated, but still – a little too similar sounding. I want this site to be original so I’m working on articles for it and it will be up eventually/shortly… as a law of attraction based personal growth site.


4. Follow @IslaKay on Twitter

I’m not down with Facebook because I don’t like to be the same person to all the different people in my life, but Twitter is less revealing and less commitment and I’m all over it like Alicia Silverstone on a Vaute Couture coat. Follow me! But not in an I’m-the-leader type way, just if you want me as a virtual friend who tells you random things.

Isla on that new planet they discovered water on

The Law of Attraction & Animal Suffering

In Ask and It Is Given, there is a passage discussing how it is that babies are capable of suffering, since they are technically free of negative thought:

“They (the little ones) have been exposed to vibrations that disallow the Well-Being that would have been there otherwise.”

So we could infer that animals, being pure of mind and heart but emotionally vulnerable, absorb the ill intent of the humans who use and abuse them. This is a bit of a mind bender, because although animals are not necessarily capable of complex logic, they are powerful in their ability to maintain a sort of emotional buoyancy. But apparently this is not strong enough to prevent them from being held captive, mutilated, slaughtered… I have always considered the animal consciousness to be an extension of human consciousness, and therefore the collective animal spirit allows the human will to act through them. In extension of this, one could propose the theory that, as it is human consciousness that essentially guides animal consciousness, if humanity would evolve to non-violence, these changes could in time transfer to the animal kingdom. If human nature is only human habit, then animal nature is only animal habit.

These animals are being used to test your toothpaste. Please do not buy Crest or Colgate toothpaste. Help a bunny out.

Need more rabbit empathy?

And for any suffering animals reading, the book also states:

“A sensation of pain is a wonderful indicator that help is on the way.”

The sensation of pain calls for a cellular request of healing energy.


Can Those Who Cause Harm Be Enlightened?

The book says quite clearly:

“No one connected to Source Energy would ever cause harm to another.”

Now, in our current society “harm” has become convoluted. We shop at big box stores for things we need to survive that capitalize on sweat shop workers without understanding if  people in developing countries essentially suffer more or benefit more from having these jobs. And most of us are raised in families that consume animal products and are not able to put together the full story of what we are eating until we can build enough courage and curiosity to find out (at which point we are often hooked on the foods that have made us feel comfortable in the past). I know several individuals who define themselves as conscious, who go to India and meditate and volunteer and endlessly question and work on themselves without facing the violence of their dietary impact. But the truth is: no one connected to Source Energy would ever cause harm to another. (Being – animal or human, directly or indirectly.)

“They lash out in their defensiveness, or in their disconnectedness, but never in their state of connection.”

And you can substitute “lash out” for deceive, take advantage of, act blindly…

While the Law of Attraction does teach a certain selfishness – placing one’s own desires above the desires of anyone else, it strongly insinuates that one’s true desire in its purest form causes no harm to another. Therefore those who enslave people and animals are acting in discord with their ultimate source of energy and only sustaining these oppressive systems with great effort, and because their disconnected thoughts have spread among humanity like a contagious disease.


As we are the creators of our own destiny, we are not bound to these hurtful decisions made by others (eg. Harper’s strange attachment to the Commercial Seal Hunt, Procter & Gamble’s sick twisted animal mutilation in the name of “science”). We do not have to torture ourselves with these “realities” (as I have spent a lot of time doing in the past), because these realities are only paths chosen by others. We need not include them in our reality. This is NOT to say that we must plug our ears, it is to say that we must acknowledge these happenings only to the level that we realize they are strongly unwanted, and then we must create alternatives. We must focus on the ways that we would like these violent patterns to change.

I have spent a lot of time living in a world that I can only describe as hell, as it has seemed unbearable to live somewhere in which, while I am slipping into various states of having fun, animals of all species (including humans) are being harmed. But the more that we focus on these atrocities the more we are calling them into being, when we do have the choice for complete animal (including human) liberation.

“All those statistics that are gathered about your own experiences and about others – are only about how somebody has already flowed Energy. They are not about the hard-and-fast now reality.”

When you find a thought that provides some relief from whatever negative state you have entered, you have regained creative control of your own experience.

1) Ask

2) Answer the Asking (you can skip this step because it is not your responsibility but that of the Universe/Source)

3) Allow (prepare yourself to receive what you are asking for)

It’s the 3rd step that trips people up. Often we do get what we ask for, but are not ready or willing to receive it.

Well get ready!


January 27, 2010

How to Get What You Really Want

“If a seed is given good soil and plenty of water and sun, it doesn’t have to try to unfold. It doesn’t need self-confidence or self-discipline or perseverance. It just unfolds. As a matter of fact, if can’t help unfolding. If a seed has to grow with a rock on top of it, or in deep shade, or without enough water, it won’t unfold into a healthy full-sized plant. It will try – hard – because the drive to become what you are meant to be is incredibly powerful. But at best it will become a sort of ghost of what it could be: pale, undersized, drooping.

In a way, that’s what most of us are.”


It’s not just your immediate family and friends that affect this stunted growth. Or even your school atmosphere. It’s a large scale smothering based on capitalism – that unless our special traits are lucrative, they are not worth investing time into. Competition, in its very essence,  negates our own individuality to an idealism of always placing one at the top as “the best”. This is not the case, but something necessary to acknowledge if we wish to realize our full magical potential.

Wishcraft, written in 1979, is surprisingly pertinent, despite a few comical cultural advancements. The book suggests taking notice of one’s personal style for the first time.  Well into the 2000s, we are obsessed with personal style as a self-determinant. The book also mentions women being the pillar of men’s success, trained to be unselfish. This pattern still exists in our society, but at the same time the problem is now just as imbalanced on the other side: men no longer knowing their place in women’s lives. The book also delightfully mentions going to one’s typewriter, but other than this, it offers a lot of helpful “real daydreaming” exercises, which is a branch of the Law of Attraction – visualization as the path to actualization.

Follow Your Bliss

“When you find yourself engulfed in circumstances that cause you to offer a vibration that is far from that of bliss, then reaching for bliss is an impossible thing, for the Law of Attraction does not allow you to make the vibrational jump anymore than you could have tuned your radio receiver to 101 FM and heard a song that was being playing on 630 AM.”

- Ask and It Is Given

This newer 2004 book discusses what to do with our pale, drooping selves in order to attain that higher vibration, which can only be received by us if we first tune ourselves to the proper reception. And so when we are at a low vibration, what we are seeking slight relief from the pressure of the negativity we are experiencing. The book presents the idea of a scale of emotions as an indicator of which emotion you can progress to in order to climb the scale, which explains why it actually feels good to get angry at certain points.  Which explains why I enjoyed those fantasies of kicking my ex in the face.

I suggest writing your own scale of emotions and using it as reference.

The key to this exercise would be trying out new thoughts and then doing an internal inventory of how these thoughts affect you.

For example: “I feel stuck in my life.”

A thought which may bring you up a vibrational level on the scale of emotions might be:

a) this is the chance to reassess which direction to step forward in, or

b) I am taking note of a stagnancy in my life and propelling myself in the direction of ______. Or,

c) what is the main event/situation/reality that is generating this “stuck” feeling and how can I overcome it?

How You Get What You Get

January 8, 2010

Dawn of Another New Era

Thanks for tuning in to dawnofanewera.

As of December 2009, the blog reached 1000 hits a day.

Expect much, much more randomness this year.

What better time to redefine the new era than January, the collective mental construct of the “New Year”. A new era refers to any type of new beginning. It is what eases the transition of letting go of the past. What reason do you have to let go of that which, yesterday, meant the world to you?  Because it meant the world to you YESTERDAY.

A new era can be justification for… an excessive purchase. (eg.Well, I like my old bag, but hey – it’s the dawnofanewera!)

Or, it can be an unlocked door in times of crumbling depression. (eg. Why get out of bed? Oh, right. I guess it is the dawnofanewera.)

The dawn of a new era can represent a new age, or simply the shedding of our former, beaten down selves.

But how can we become more specific in manifesting these new eras we wish to welcome?




*I recommend you get past the New Age, sickeningly happy, Ouija board loving couple who wrote this book and read The Law of Attraction.

I found value in this book because it does not, like so many other spiritual tactics recommend that you continually give it up to God (“it” being whatever hardship or hard questions fall upon you), but it instead indicates ourselves as the creators. And so I have been able to sift through the book’s often irritating form (its authors’ continuously “expressing” their glorious joy and wealth), to salvage its useful content, which is information floating around out there for anyone to receive – doesn’t matter who is dictating it.

The Law of Attraction mentions time and again that we must come to understand how we “get what we get”. While my subconscious was dismantling the concept, I waited in line for my (plus size) bags at the airport on the baggage carousel, and playing on a baggage cart beside me a little girl was singing to herself: “I want what I want, and I get what I get. And I get what I want!

Spoiled kid, or manifestation of my subconscious..?

The Law of Attraction:

  • “If you are able to imagine it, then it is not unrealistic. If from this time-space reality, you have been able to create the desire, this time-space reality has the resources to fulfill it.”
  • “That which I give thought to, I begin to attract. That which I give thought to that brings forth strong emotion, I attract more quickly.”
  • ‘”The way you feel is your point of attraction, and so, The Law of Attraction is most understood when you see yourself as a magnet, getting more and more of the way you feel.”
  • Practicing the Art of Allowing means cultivating in yourself a state in which you are not attempting to block desire (of yourself and others). It is very important to realize that as you practice not blocking the desires of others, even when they are vicious and violent (force feeding ducks, for example) this “allowing” will become stronger in the manifestation of your own desires. It’s all or nothing. As we block the actions of others, we are simultaneously blocking our own. However, if our own desires become strong enough, and if we build up the ability to get out of their way, then we will no longer be vulnerable to the desires of others that traumatize us because we will be able to visualize solutions to the cruelty we have witnessed. If we focus on the cruelty, there will be more cruelty. But if we focus on the emancipation of these innocent beings, we are not evading their confinement and torture, we are devoting our power of  thought to set them free.

“I want, I allow, and therefore it is.”

  • Try this: “I want to see _______, I expect to see ______, no matter who I am working with, no matter who I am talking to, no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing, and intend to see ______.”

And it will come to you – it is LAW.


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